Apparently homeschooling in Australia is on the rise and a big chunk of that is down to bullying in schools. I recently came across an article arguing that despite some recent suicides due to school bullying homeschooling should only be a stopgap in these circumstances and not a long term solution. Naturally I was curious as to what those arguments were, because bullying would always have been a reason for me to homeschool and was even a deciding factor in the end for one of my daughters, while not the only factor.
Image courtesy of @crosheille
The reporting itself was actually fairly unbiased, despite the leading headline. It briefly covered 3 suicides, with photos of those children and their families. It gave some statistics on the most popular reasons given for homeschooling and then it gave some quotes from someone qualified about why homeschooling for bullying should only be temporary. The first time I read the article I just skimmed it and didn't realise until I read it out again for my daughter, the one who experienced exclusion, that I realised these quotes came from someone with a background as a teacher and school psychologist.
I'll just give a bit of background from my youngest daughter's experience of bullying in school. I've never really talked about it more than briefly because I don't like to seem overly critical of the school system and teachers and I don't like to talk badly of people.
We had moved house and needed to change to a new school. I chose the nearby Christian school due to it apparently having good outcomes and being a desirable school for the area with a waiting list. My girls started for the last term of the year and my youngest's class and teacher were all good. The next year she started in the new grade and her teacher had favourites and she was not one. The teacher basically singled her out for humiliation and made her a target for exclusion from the rest of the class. It wasn't until after I'd pulled them out of the school that I suddenly remembered that our old neighbour, who did some of her teacher training at the school, saying that it was a cliquey school where generations went and outsiders who got in were often made examples of as being less intelligent or under educated. Ironic, really, as it was my eldest's grades that got them bumped up the list to get in early.
I suppose things didn't really reach the point of all out bullying for my daughter, possibly because I pulled my girls out before it could escalate, but what sticks in my mind the most is that she had started to form some connections, but that teacher's treatment of her quickly reversed that and at least sanctioned, if not encouraged, the exclusion by the other children. This doesn't really exude confidence that the school would have dealt with bullying effectively and something that crops up often with stories of bullying is the failure or inability of the schools to do much about it.
So back to the qualified Dr Moore and his reasons why "homeschooling is at best a short-term solution to bullying that should only be considered in the most extreme situations." My instincts here say that this kind of situation should be addressed before getting to the point of extreme, because if it's reached that point then it might be too late to address it even with homeschooling, as the parents of the children highlighted in the article found out.
So let's look at his actual reasons as to why he doesn't think that homeschooling is a good long term strategy:
“From a professional perspective home schooling doesn’t make a lot of sense in terms of educational outcomes because you are taking kids out of the space of experts,”
There is so much to unpick here. The fact that there is more than one way for a child to learn would probably be lost on him, so I won't even go into unschooling, play based learning, Charlotte Mason, Waldorf and other methods I'll just point out that many parents choosing to homeschool actually do it through a distance learning curriculum which is put together by qualified teachers and will have qualified teachers to help out and mark the work. Therefore they are very much keeping the education in the realm of what he would consider as "experts". There is also so much educational material available online now that even when parents choose to educate their child themselves they have all the help they could ever want at their fingertips. Even schools will use things like Khan Academy to support their students' learning and this is free for anyone to access. The delicious irony here is that Khan Academy evolved from Sal Khan helping his cousins out with their mathematics when the school system had failed them.
Dr Moore said it was important to recognise that schools teach more than just literacy and numeracy. Schools also provide opportunities for social learning.
All the people in the world around us provide us with opportunities for social learning. Schools actually restrict it to others their age and a few teachers. When I homeschooled my girls I was initially in the same mindset having come from the school system. When required to write in the forms what social interactions and learning opportunities my girls got I could only think of their extra curricular activities like dance and gymnastics. The home education officer was the one to point out that going to the shops and library also gave them social interactions and even seeing extended family was counted under social interaction. Later we would also go with other families on homeschool trips and they made some firm friends, but also often met different people each time. All different ages would interact with one another and it was organic interaction rather than contrived.
“By withdrawing students from the school system due to bullying, we’re actually depriving those students of the opportunity for learning how to deal with difficult social situations.”
This gives me the vibes of those who argue that bullying just helps you to learn how to deal with difficult people. While it's true that we are guaranteed to encounter difficult people throughout our lives, as children guidance on this from the adults around us is far more productive than leaving us alone with some bullies, surely?
“The merits of professional teachers can’t be underestimated.”
And what when that "professional teacher" is part of the problem, as in my daughter's case? I would also mention here that teachers are teaching a whole class of children in one way and if they struggle to learn with that given method they will start to fall behind. Everyone is different in how they learn and absorb information, but teachers rarely have time to tailor the teaching to each child. Some do as much as they can and put a lot of time outside of school hours into doing so. On the other end some children are very flexible and learn however they are taught; my eldest is like that.
My eldest is very academically oriented and my youngest is very hands on with learning. My eldest is currently doing a PhD in genetics and my youngest is doing an apprenticeship in mechanical engineering. Both were homeschooled for the majority of their school age years. There are a lot of misconceptions about homeschooling, yet the irony is that many children who do well in school and in higher education were also being educated at home by their parents. I once had a teacher tell me once that teaching isn't just abut teaching the child, it's also about helping the parents learn how to support their child with learning. It's a corroborative effort. She even voiced her support when I met her after we'd started homeschooling.
What are the most inaccurate beliefs you've heard about homeschooling?
Homeschooling is a great way to avoid bullying in school specially when things escalated really bad and are not mendable, ofcourse with a proper and full support. My heart gets a little ache when I read this article as I once was bullied in school during my childhood days, one thing I regretted not doing is being fearless in standing up for myself, I was so fearful. I should have been fearless with those bullies and let them tasted their own medicine too, so I wouldn't have to deal with traumas now. We couldn't afford homeschooling and doesn't have a choice and now that I have a child I constantly reminds him to not be afraid when there are bullies and fight for himself that many people love him and that those bullies doesn't have people who loves them dearly that's why they're messing up with other peoples lives to get the attention they long for... bullies shouldn't win they should be made accountable and learn their lesson, a kind and good heart should always win than those bullies evil heart😞
Looking back it's easier to wish we could have been braver, but as children we don't have enough experience to know how to deal with these things. I'm glad you can use that experience now to help your own child, though, and I hope you can heal your own trauma too.
Thank you very much😊
Wow this article is so biased it's crazy.
This made me lose it. Experts? I'm sorry but teachers are experts at handling a class, and make it behave while they teach. They are really good at that. The very good ones, a vast minority, are actually accepting that kids are human.
As long as classes will have more than 15 kids, I don't have hope for the school system. I have difficulty managing 8 employees, so don't tell me 1:30 is a good ratio.
Class sizes have been a point of contention for a long time now. Even those with no interest in homeschooling realise they need reducing. I was lucky enough to be in a small class in a Rudolf Steiner school, so the teachers would actually be able to guide us individually when we were struggling. They made sure we all grasped what was being taught before moving on. I didn't realise quite how lucky I was until it came time for my girls to attend school.
Public and even religious schools are often teaching to some lowest common denominator, or using some broad methodology that may not be optimal for your child.
In the time it takes to get your child ready for school, and for them to travel to and from schools - you may find your child can learn all of the material they would be exposed to during the school day. This will obviously vary with your child's capacity and your own to serve as an instructor or guide through their learning.
Absolutely! I never missed the school runs and we got through the amount of school work they used to cover in a day of school in an hour or two. Perhaps more work, because when they enjoyed it they learnt it better.
I know it's not for everyone, some would rather do the school run and have the school day available for their own time or they might need to work. Some might not have the patience to try and teach their children. I've had plenty of people say to me after having their children home during the lockdowns that they don't think they're cut out to homeschool their children.
This is my opinion
School is not best place for learning nowdays since all the subjects can be learn from youtube.
But, the important that get from school is like Discipline, friends, survival act, teamwork art, respecting, and yeah of course self defense including bullying.
Thats why i still said that school still needed.
I will make my son finished his school until at least high school in order to make friends and network. But, i really dont care about subject grades as long as he still pass to move up a class i never cared too much about subject grades.
But, i really matter how he react,how he socialize,how he utilize what he have in surroundings and how to make his life having discipline.
Do you not teach discipline at home? My daughters learnt that even before they were old enough to attend school, otherwise they wouldn't have been able to follow the teachers' instructions.
As I already said, these aspects can all be covered with homeschooling. It's every parents choice on how they educate their children, however, and school works for the majority, but for some it doesn't. It's short sighted to assume homeschooling can't cover certain aspects just because it's not the choice of the majority.
There will likely be difficulties when homeschooling depending on your country. For those countries that allow it, however, homeschooling families will often connect with one another and can arrange teamwork activities if they want to.
I'm curious what your thoughts are on when bullying reaches a point where the victim chooses to take their own life, like those highlighted in the article. Is that their own fault for not being emotionally strong enough to defend themselves?
I dont know much about that in this era like tech era
When i was a kid i think bullies still there but we are strong enough since we are raise in harsh environment and still using the strongest take everything. So, like it or not we are fighting. But that really different with this era i guess,
There is no point using physical violence to resolve the problem, right now using tech,money,and creative mind to resolve problem. And i dont know in your country but in my country Millenial era starting to go lazy and starting sedentary lifestyle that makes low health quality and they are ( in this case my era too) realize or not teaching their children with sedentary lifestyle too which is from my opinion low quality health will bring low quality mental. And worsening by social media that really easy to accessing kid. It can reduce both health and mental i guess.
But back again since i really new about this parenting and still learning about parenting so i need to read this article too. I still dont know which one is better. And if my son got bullied as long as he can handle the emotion and not make impacted physic like broken bones or make cripple i teaching him to avoid them at first and if they cannot be avoided he need to fight back with smart ways.
(Sorry if my grammar is bad)
I agree, this digital age certainly adds a new layer when it comes to mental health. Then physical health and nutrition will also play a part. It's very complex and there isn't a simple solution.
My eldest had a short period of time of bullying before we moved schools. It was a matter of straight forward jealousy which we discussed tactics to handle. Initially it wasn't a problem, but when the tactics didn't work it started to wear her down. We were leaving the school anyway due to the move, so it stopped when she left. Because it didn't get to the point of extreme I feel like it was a bit of a lesson that she could learn some things about dealing with difficult people. Had it escalated and become more than she could deal with I would have stepped in. We let the teacher at the time know that she was having issues with this girl as well, so she could keep an eye on things.
That's okay, I appreciate the genuine comments and thoughts. 🙂
And the bad news is as my wife is a teacher,
there is one condition in my country that teacher cannot hit or even scold harder or else will dealing with police. And since we are minority we need to follow the rules or else will dealing with hardship.
so, right now dealing with kids nowdays will be harder since the system wont allow to act decisively and kid themself wont allowed physical violence and sometimes get the worst that the kid that got bullied shame or afraid to share the story. Thats why many people will suicide in this situation.
We have similar laws. Teachers and coaches can't even comfort children when they are hurt or upset so they are reluctant to touch them physically in any way.
Homeschooling isn't really a thing here yet, maybe because bullying isn't as bad as I've heard it is in other countries.
My dad was scared to send me to elementary school when I was little, so my mom homeschooled me till I was 6.
I was way ahead of my mates, could read well, and was good at simple calculations and storytelling.
The myths I've heard about homeschooling is that kids might struggle with socializing, and parents might not know enough to teach certain subjects. Which might be true to some extent.
I think Covid lockdowns caused a big uptake in homeschooling here as well, because when parents were forced to do their schooling at home they started to realise how much the school was failing them in their education.
Unless a child is isolated, which they can be if they're living in a remote area, most homeschooled children are actually better socialised than school children, because they're used to interacting with people of all different ages and in all different environments. I think the impression many have is that they don't leave the house.
No parent will know everything about every subject, just as no single teacher will. Even before the internet, however, there were textbooks available for all subjects. Now we have the internet we have everything at our fingertips. I learnt along with my girls when I homeschooled. I became better at my times tables than I ever did at school. When my eldest surpassed me in maths we used Khan Academy and other resources. She now has a science degree and is doing her PhD, so my lower ability in maths did nothing to hold her back. I would say these things are no more true for homeschooled children than they are for schooled children.
Yeah.
You're absolutely right.
Hard to play on sports teams if you're home schooled I would think
Sports is a weekend thing and you have there's usual options :D
They have such a thing as extra curricular activities. 😉 Most kids do their sports after school because most schools don't have their own sports teams anyway, so they have to play them after school.
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Interesting topic, about bullying at school. Congratulations. Temporary home schooling can be an option when it comes to bullying at school and you need to find a solution to the problem. Until the situation calms down. Otherwise, we wouldn't see the academic results. Best regards.
Did you read the whole post? I covered academics with homeschooling as a perfectly viable option.
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STOPLo que dices es cierto 💥hoy día aquí en Venezuela da miedo enviar a un muchacho al liceo, pues no sabes que malos hábitos puede aprender incluso terminar en una banda delictiva, educar en casa y enseñarle un oficio técnico puede ser lo mejor hasta que tenga una personalidad definitiva.