Wow, thank you so much @ashtv, I really appreciate your comment!
we feel there any be something else going on, but knowing what route to take is hard.
sorry to read that, I know that i can really feel stressful not knowing why and what and therefore bumping into a wall to break some cycles (we're still facing that regularly, but with her now 5 years it's a lot less than when she could not talk)
I hope some clarity will come one day, for you as well!
Have a lovely Sunday ..