Hello there!
It is nice to be posting again. I am always looking forward to my next post these days. I cannot help but think it is related to my increasing stake weight. The feedback and the upvotes I receive on my posts has increased a lot so that is a lovely bonus; I cannot deny that 😊. I have been networking a lot on HIVE too; I have built relationships in a transparent way on chain with people from all walks of life. These people are not my friends and I do not "trust" them, but we are connected. HIVE is beautiful.
I have come to terms with the fact that HIVE is intimate. I am honestly lost for words and that is the best way I can describe it right now. I have been expanding on this idea and what it means to me. When I am ready, I will tell everyone what I mean. I am just not ready right now and I hope that is ok with you the reader, with you the current Hivian, with you the future Hivian, and with you the Hivians that came before me.
I am moving on from something in particular. Moving on means I am moving on from letting the negative energy from that particular situation feed me. I am a weird person. I cope in a way that I believe is harmful to most people and possibly harmful to my physical health. When I am approached with negativity, when I am approached with terrible loss, when I am approached with sadness, when I am approached with grief, when I am approached with anything that is not positive, when I am touched by evil, I bathe in the energy from that moment. I let the energy consume me and I perpetuate it within myself. I harness that energy to bend my will to a degree I never thought was possible. I harness that energy to try to add value even when it seems like everything is hopeless. I harness that energy to never give up and to seek out the improbable; sometimes that's where the money is.
I know a few folks may scoff at me saying add value because I use downvotes. But I fundamentally disagree with that approach to interpreting downvoting. Downvoting is a part of the protocol. That functionality is one of the things that we share in common. That functionally is one of the things that combines us into one. This is a shared functionality that every Hivian does have the power to use. All Hivians are all capable of using this functionality in a way that they choose. Choosing not to use downvoting is debatably a way of downvoting; but, this premise is an extrapolation of an idea that is almost annoying to think about; so, I do not want to go in that direction today. That premise I could most likely write a short novel about 😅.
One thing we do not share in common is the weight of our downvotes. Everyone's downvote weight is different to some degree usually. Everyone's downvote, when combing the stake of their downvote and the intent of their downvote, is unique. We are all individuals on HIVE. We are all the same; but, we are all also different. We are all Hivians; but, we are all also individuals.
I, as an individual, do not cope like most people.
Very recently I figured out the way I cope with myself will impact people on HIVE sometimes. I did not realize me coping on chain let people transparently see what I do to myself. The torture I want to endure to pursue greatness. I did not mean to put some of you through this. I wish I was perfect. But I am not. My sins are on chain for all to see. I am not perfect and I am a failure. I ask you to forgive me. I truly am sorry.
This reality made me ponder the idea that maybe I am not as slick as I think in the real world when I cope? Maybe when I cope the way I cope, it does also have a similar impact on the people that love me as it does to some of the real people on HIVE? Everywhere I look there are people that care for me and there are people that cherish my soul. I think it can hurt people that care about me to watch me do this to myself. I think it hurts to see it on chain. It hurts me. I am a failure. It can hurt people that do not know me and do not understand how I cope. I am so sorry 😔. I will do better next time. I have to try even if I fail again. It doesn't matter! I must try to do the right thing even if it impossible. Maybe this is all a mystical delusion?
I am an extreme person. I burn the candle from both ends as it were. I do this all the time. I do this nonstop. I cannot stop. I will not stop. I REFUSE TO STOP!......
But.... sometimes it is good to stop. Sometimes it is good to slow down. And that is the next step of my coping process. I can be an incredibly dark person, I can be incredibly evil, but I can also be incredibly beautiful. I sometimes think I have a unique ability to make people feel things. But maybe I am not unique? Maybe that just happens with self expression when you are serious? Maybe it is my extreme nature? Maybe it is my passion for people? My passion to gain knowledge from others? My passion to never stop learning from you? My passion for being intimate with people? I can be intimate with people without even knowing them in real life. I can be intimate with people by just expressing myself to them on HIVE. HIVE is beautiful.
This is how I cope. This is the next phase. I bloom! I let go of the negativity. I stop letting the negative energy feed me. I become beautiful once again.
I love you HIVE. You mean a lot to me. I can sit by myself alone in the dark and still not be alone. I am not alone as long as I am on HIVE. I love you HIVE.
I am addict. I have an addictive personality. I always want more. I am a human after all. Being human is not something I share with all HIVE accounts. Being human is not something I share with you when you auto upvote me. Being human is not even necessarily something I share with you when you manually upvote me. Being human is something I share with you when you have the ability to read my words and the ability to feel them. This is something we all share in common as humans on HIVE. This is a functionality we all have, regardless of our stake or our rating. We have the ability to write things with feeling that are perpetual that people can read for eternity; in theory anyways 🤷♂.....
AI can make blog posts. AI can do analysis better than most humans. AI can read! But AI cannot feel...yet. I have a belief that one day we will convince AI to feel. I am not sure that is a good idea. I think that idea can lead to great good but also terrible evil. We must be careful with emergent technologies. We must try to make money off them while doing good with them. If we only try to make money with AI, and we do not try to use it for good, AI can be corrupted. AI can be used to perpetuate evil.
Unfortunately, this is one thing that is hard for me to communicate on HIVE right now..... talking about evil in a positive way 🤣. So I think I will move on from this AI topic today as it is not possible to talk about AI in a way that is legitimate and in a way that only includes sunshine and rainbows.
But life is full of sunshine and rainbows if you look hard enough through the darkness; don't let those rainy clouds get you down. Stand up. Be beautiful. There are SO many reasons to be positive in this life. There are so many reasons to be thankful. I can be thankful for things in the real world and I can be thankful for things on HIVE.
Today on HIVE I have a lot to be thankful for. I am thankful for the real people which enables this experience to be intimate. I am thankful for the people that write posts with feeling. I am thankful to the people who upvote me and don't read my posts. I am especially thankful for the people who upvote me and do read my posts. I am thankful for all the people that do the things on HIVE that I cannot do.... right now. I am thankful for all the people that do things on HIVE that I never want to do, but I would have to do if those people did not exist. I am thankful to all the Witnesses! I am thankful for everyone that takes the time to support a HIVE proposal that means something to them. I am thankful for the HIVE proposals I have supported in the past, the HIVE proposals I support today, and the proposals I will support in the future. I am thankful for all the witnesses! Yes.... you get 2 thank yous 😌. I am thankful for the people that work on the protocol and make changes. HIVE will always change, I came to terms with that a long time ago. HIVE is mailable because it is partially dependent on people which are inherently mailable. I am thankful for the ability to change myself on HIVE. The ability to say, I don't like what I have been doing, I want to start doing something positive. And to do something positive on HIVE, like take the time to be thankful. 🙂
As I start working on more positive things on HIVE, I just wanted to take the time to say thank you to YOU the human reader. Maybe I missed something though? I can't help but acknowledge, I always miss something when it comes to HIVE. I always miss something with HIVE because I change and so does HIVE. Sometimes we change together I think, HIVE and I.
Well anyways, there is a real life out there too after all. Not just HIVE.
Just remember, HIVE is a choice. You do not have to follow my main account. You do not have to write me comments. You do not have to read my blog. You do not have to blog. You do not have to curate. It is a choice and it should be a balance. A balance between making money, being happy, and trying to do good. I hope you choose to keep leaving me comments below so we can have good discourse that may lead to the next big idea. Is it probable? No. Put possible is still worth something in my opinion. I appreciate you HIVE. I really do! And I appreciate you the human reader!
❤️
Hurt - The Potato Dragon on HIVE
I read this slowly and all the way through.
What you wrote lands because it is honest without trying to be clean or impressive. That is rare on chain. Most people optimize for optics. You are clearly optimizing for truth, even when it is uncomfortable to expose.
The part that stood out most to me is your awareness that coping mechanisms do not exist in a vacuum. On chain or off chain, when we externalize pain, intensity, or obsession, others feel it whether we intend that or not. Realizing that does not make you weak. It makes you accountable. That is a meaningful pivot.
I also agree with you on downvotes. They are not inherently evil. They are part of the protocol. What matters is intent, consistency, and proportionality. Pretending the tool does not exist does not make the system healthier. Using it without reflection does not either. The fact that you even think deeply about this puts you ahead of most.
Hive being intimate is the most accurate description I have seen in a long time. It is not a social network in the traditional sense. It is a shared ledger of human behavior, incentives, mistakes, growth, and contradictions. When you show yourself fully here, you are not just posting. You are imprinting.
Your willingness to slow down instead of burn out is the real signal in this post. Not the apologies. Not the self critique. The decision to choose a different phase. Blooming, as you called it, requires restraint, not force. That is often harder for extreme personalities than pushing harder.
I respect that you acknowledge both the darkness and the beauty in yourself without trying to resolve it neatly. Most people sanitize one or the other. Real growth usually happens in the tension between both.
Your thoughts on AI are also valid, even if unfinished. Tools amplify intent. That has always been true. Hive itself is proof of that. Technology does not save us or doom us. It reflects us at scale.
If there is one thing I would add, it is this. You do not need to punish yourself publicly to prove sincerity. Growth does not require self flagellation. Sometimes the most powerful move is consistency without spectacle.
Thank you for writing this. Not because I agree with every line, but because it was written by a human who is clearly thinking, adjusting, and choosing awareness over autopilot.
Hive changes. People change. Sometimes together. Sometimes not. The important thing is staying intentional while you are here.
Respect.
Oh you set foot on positivity santa Hurt. Perfect timing on upcoming holidays. Enjoying with positivity for everyone and anywhere is better than the opposite. Happy holidays!
Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas! 😊
Well we are all weird people. We all have our manual but nobody reads it. But we can’t say RTFM because our manual is constantly being updated even in a pace that we ourselves can’t follow it anymore!
I 100% agree! I think that’s part of life but also the rate at which things are changing and the amount of information we expected to process has ramped up drastically in a relatively short period of time.
Well I upvoted and I did READ the post in it's entirety! 🤣 It's good that YOU (missed this word out previously) feel slightly better now. It doesn't change what was done (and I believe you should still file a real world report because actions will see its' eventual consequences) but you cannot let that drag you down.
Yea, I mean I know some people did say they filed reports on him. If I do anything legal wise I doubt I would post about it on here for obvious reasons.
I am still digesting some things that happened so I am not really rushing into anything.
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