Welcome back! It is quiet here at the moment so don't be alarmed.
I am so sorry for your loss.
I know, 30s seems like an age where we are supposed to have it together and we certainly are supposed to act like adults, but I do not believe it is so. Not always. I, certainly, do not feel like an adult who is supposed to have children and a house, and a stable job. I am still ironing out the details in which direction my life should be going.
Learn something small each day. Eventually those small things will add up and you will find yourself more capable than you feel right now in the moment.
Also, try not to beat yourself up about the job situation. We can learn from all jobs there are. Just got to keep your mind open about it.
Thanks! I woke up and I'm really happy to see your answer to my post. You're right, thats also the thing - I keep beating myself for not doing well and that leads into a deeper mental hole. At the end your'e right not everyone is supposed to go at the same speed in life. Guess I should think less, do more. Not saying a lot, but just small steps, at my own tempo without stressing about what will happen.