A very heart-felt post! Sorry about your troubles with the divorce, surprisingly family law differs from state to state. Washington State is much friendlier to men it seems, speaking from my own experience and my second wife's experience who ended up paying for all her ex-husbands lawyer expenses and he got their family residence, alimony from her, plus half of all other assets and a very friendly visitation schedule... She was a main bread winner in that marriage though...
Yeah, it's really against the primary breadwinner and the bigger the distinction the harder the judges help the non-breadwinner. Title Iv-D of the Social Security Act gives the state federal matching funds for support collected. it's a racket and the judges are financially incentivized to take as much from the primary breadwinner as possible.