I shouldn't have to point out that h4x0rz are tricksy, and have before managed to interpolate themselves between senders and receivers. If you send the money, you don't have it. If they intercept it then they do have it. These things happen. Still.
I am ribbing you a bit, but only a bit, about crafting a better HE. If you made it I wouldn't be against using it. I am not a coder, but still reckon it's not an easy thing to code up. otherwise there'd be competition. Isn't there a github where you could submit code or something for HE?
Honestly, though, I just relate to your frustration that it doesn't work in a way that makes using it tolerable.
The trick to creating another system of tokens on Hive is the liquidity pool between Hive and the token. ETH accomplishes this with atomic swaps that are confirmed directly on chain. HE accomplishes this with a single permissioned entity that controls all the wrapped/unwrapped Hive (whether multisig or not).
I have an idea to solve this problem in another way but much bigger fish on Hive like the SPEAK network are working on their own solution as well that may be a lot better than my clunky version.