Don't feel bad! Even experienced beekeepers are having a hard time right now. We had hives take off and leave for now reason before. This year, I had two swarms coming in and settling in the yard. I had to give them to a friend since we have neighbors now who are deadly allergic to bees and I don't want to be blamed if anything were to happen to him.
If you try again, I really like her approach to bee keeping
https://permies.com/t/34544/Podcast-Reverence-Bees-Part
Thanks so much for the advice! I will try again but it'll be when I'm not living in the suburbs and can give more time to them. I'm worried about all the pesticides neighbors use too.
Valid worry! That very well might have made your bees move or die :(