Persistence

in #imalive4 months ago

Some time has elapsed since I last typed any words here. A lot has been done. I am alive. I am functioning. I remain employed, and I've dedicated countless hours to things that aren't HIVE.

Many of you will recall I used to be completely and utterly obsessed by Splinterlands, until I wasn't anymore. Then I played an enormous amount of Baldur's Gate 3 and did an unhealthy amount of streaming.

I've picked up some new things.

  • A debilitating, un-ending sense of responsibility and loyalty to my employer which has at times felt like an abusive relationship
  • An understanding of the fact that stoicism has its limits.
  • A much lower tolerance for bullshit.
  • An enormous amount of responsibility, debt, (both time and financial)
  • and soon, a new home.

In the meantime, between all these stressful and life-changing events, I've not spent the requisite time looking after me.

That's a common story, and my time away from HIVE has not been an alcohol fuelled bender, in fact, I'm creeping up on 2 years without a single drop of booze having entered in my system.

Some days, I wish I would give in to that urge and become an unfettered day drinking alcoholic, but then I remind myself that I don't want to deal with the hangover or any self destructive outcomes.

Also, booze is expensive. Money isn't something anyone has a lot of at the moment.

I've done some wonderful things in my time away from my posting key.

  • Seen countless bands
  • Strengthened friendships
  • Started to learn the Piano somewhat seriously
  • Buy a new house (well, the transaction will settle soon)
  • Declutter the house (which is incredibly cathartic)

And mostly, I've just ...

waited.

I've waited for the future to come to me, and it never seems to be the exact future that I desire. It is punctuated by moments of employment, moments of enjoyment, and moments in-between where I wish I had a fast forward button.

So in case you're wondering where I've been, I've been here all-along, and I will remain, persistent, just less visible. I'm not an apparition, but in time, we all shall be.

Enjoy some recent photographs.

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My presence.

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I got to see Pantera.

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Me with the band Unleash the Archers. I had VIP tickets.

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The cat, the piano, and the guitar I've not yet learned to play.

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A wonderful sticker my dear friend Krystal made for my computer.

I've got to throw things in boxes, do my tax, and organise some floor plans to figure out what furniture goes where. I've got 9 calendar days of work remaining, before I get some sparkly new keys and spent a whole lot of money, time, and energy lifting my life from place A to place B.

I'll claim I miss you in the comments.

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Congrats on the non-alcoholicness!

I haven't been present myself for a long time really. I blog for myself due to lack of friends to discuss things with in real life (they all left after pandemic), and I occasionally comment here and there to make myself falsely believe I'm part of the community here lol.

But it's a pretty dead zone and has been a long time, so really it's just for me to write various thoughts down. You haven't missed anything!

Very envious of you owning a home (second home now? I dunno). I'm approaching 40 and I can't even fathom the idea of even a small home 10, 20 years from now. It's just not a feasible option for us, despite being two working people in well-paying jobs and with significant savings.

So, I guess, even if you're just floating through unsatisfying times, you have quite some things to be grateful for! (including a pantera gig, had no idea they were still going)

2nd, yes, but to fund it, we get rid of the first. Having 2 mortgages for two months is going to be so, so much fun :D

2nd, yes, but to fund it, we get rid of the first. Having 2 mortgages for two months is going to be so, so much fun :D

No really, I do miss you all...

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Good to have you back! 2 years without a drop is a monumental achievement alone. I haven’t seen Pantera since dimebag was still around and it looks like you are having a bit of fun along the way.

The future never works out how we plan and we just become good at accepting that and enjoying what life brings us.

Welcome back!

Was a nice tribute to Dimebag and Vinnie. Was the only show in the country where they headlined, and it was in my local town. The entire evening was so completely surreal.

I saw your post after a long time, I hope you are well. A full face beard looks good

Thank you, its been like that for about ten years

How's the piriformis?

Stubbornly remaining in one piece.