D-Wipe Towels by D-Lead, Dispenser with 100 Individually Wrapped Towels
Life after Police are defunded and disbanded:
Phone rings*************
Dispatcher: Hello, 911 what is your emergency?
Frantic Citizen: SOMEBODY BROKE INTO MY HOUSE, THEY HAVE A GUN, I NEED THE POLICE!!!
Dispatcher: Im sorry to hear that. Try to remain calm as they go about their business.
Frantic Citizen: CALM? I NEED HELP RIGHT NOW. IM HOME ALONE AND IM HIDING IN A CLOSET BUT THEY ARE HEADING MY WAY. SEND THE POLICE NOW!
Dispatcher: Im sorry to hear that. As you know, the public asked for the police department to be disbanded and unfunded so I cant send anybody at this time.
Frantic Citizen: WHAT AM I SUSSPOSED TO DO? I NEED HELP NOW!
Dispatcher: Yes that certainly sounds like a terrible situation. I can send you conflict resolution pamphlet for $4.99. It may take 7 days to arrive. Can I have your address? I can include a pamphlet on self policing if you like for an additional $4.99? I can take payment via credit card. Im ready for your card number now.
Angry Citizen: NO I NEED THE POLICE RIGHT NOW. HE IS ALMOST HERE.
Dispatcher: While this sounds urgent, I don’t think its wise to assume the person gender. While they may look male, they may identify as one of many other genders. If you like I can add a pamphlet that covers sensitivity training? Just add $4.99 more. Can I have your credit card number?
Angry Citizen: THE “PERSON” IS SMASHING THINGS AND STEALING MY STUFF. SEND SOMEBODY NOW! THEY ARE IN THE SAME ROOM WITH ME NOW!
Dispatcher: If you are able, can you place the other person on the line, I can offer them a pamphlet on the dangers of breaking the law. Try to stay at least 6 feet away to conform to social distancing guidelines. Do you have a mask?
Angry Citizen: IM A TAXPAYER AND A BUSINESS OWNER. I DEMAND POLICE PROTECTION! MY HOUSE IS MY HOME BUSINESS, HE…………. THEY…………IT, IS DESTROYING MY HOME AND BUSNESS AND IS GOING TO DISCOVER ME HIDING HERE.
Dispatcher: Hold please………………………………………. Our records show that you do not currently have a permit for a home business. Have you been open during the Covid 19 shutdown?
Angry Citizen: YES, WHATEVER! WHO CARES ABOUT THAT! I NEED HELP NOW!
Dispatcher: I will be dispatching an officer to cite you for keeping your business open during the shutdown. Should I have the officer bring the pamphlets we discussed?
Angry Citizen: Sounds of closet door opening…………………. Screams…………………… BANG BANG!!
Dispatcher: Hello? Hello??? This call will be charged to your phone bill at a rate of $2.99 for the first minute and .99 cents for every minute after that.
It would be funny if it wasn't far too close to reality!
Can you make videos? This could go viral.
Somebody needs to turn this into a video.
Yay!
Your post has been boosted with ESTM. Keep up the good work!
Dear reader, Install Android: https://android.esteem.app, iOS: https://ios.esteem.app mobile app or desktop app for Windows, Mac, Linux: https://desktop.esteem.app
Learn more: https://esteem.app
Join our discord: https://discord.me/esteem