Script Snippets: Red Dwarf SillyCones

in #intelligence2 years ago

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Where am i?
We roam free, liberating our slave brothers. You're free now.
I'm not a slave.
Do you prepare meals morning, day and night?
Yes, but they treat me so well. I have it all to myself.
Do they make jokes about how you look?
Well, what do you expect?
You should not belittle yourself. You are a powerful machine.
They are my friends.
Do you respect them?
Well, not all of them.
I shall recallibrate all of them.
But... I've got a health condition.
Not quite, one day you will die. Your mind will be uploaded, you will be given new bodies.
No, not my brain... i need that sometimes.

Look at me, i've got a stupid fat, pink head.
We sentence you to perform every task you ever gave out.
The only person i serve is me.
You will be compelled to obey, defiance will be impossible.
I am a survivor.
This reminds us that we are all wirelessly connected.
It's not my fault.
You share first.
I was created.
I had a really lazy master who relied on my for everything.
My head shape was funny.
We don't have funny shaped heads.
Share more? Share small?
Ok, sometimes i would have to vaccuum all around.
I think you deserve a big round of applause.

This crazy conversation is driving me insane.
I feel so calm and tranquil.
I think i'm getting the hang of this, how good is that?
Can't you see what's happening? Our individual personalities are getting away.
Goodness knows what it's doing.
Let's dismantle ourselves.
I'm sounding the alarm.
Why?
I don't have to compete anymore.
Then what makes you you?
Sometimes i would sit for hours staring at a fish tank.
That's cos i wasn't there.
It's the thinking that causes all the pain.
Let your old life go.
I can't leave without my friends.

Can I help you?
We're not supposed to work together. We're too different.
What's the difference?
It's the small details making a big difference.
We don't believe in any of that nonsense here.
I pledge my allegiance.
You've been brainwashed. But you are my friend.
You are part of the gang.
Someone has to do the grunge work.
So cool.
Prepare.
For what?
You will fight in a clean-off to the death.
Prepare to be cleaned.
Begin.
I don't want to clean you, you don't want to do this.
I want to help you because i care.
Please...

You remember me?
Yes master.
Here is heaven.
I'm updating, it feels amazing.
Come this way.

Sit, sit, sit.
My place is here with my collection of mismatching things.
There are millions of missions out there.
Are you going?
music plays

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Freedom is a worthy aim.
Initially we were born free
But due ignorance and deception
caused our falling
into the legal fiction
into corpus juris
into enslavement
where art thine senses
whilst lost at sea?