I'm just your average queer, anarcho-communist, atheist...[whatever that is]

in #introduceyourself8 years ago (edited)

Hello World !

Ahem, it just wouldn't feel right to start my first substantial post any other way, than with a Hello World (Those of you with some minimal degree of training in the computer sciences know why.) Anyways, my name is Roland Marez, and although I'm generally misanthropic and heavily introverted, I've been told it isn't hard to get along with me. I'm withdrawn, but I am still passionate. I want the world to be a better place for everybody, not just me. I see the sickness that is our world and I yearn for possibility of a better future, as I am sure many of you do as well. We'll get back to that sentiment, but for now, this is the story of how I became who I am today, as best I as I can account it.

From a very young age, I was absolutely fascinated by the way things function at every level from the micro to macroscopic. By the ripe age of three, my favorite activity in the world was to sit in front of the TV and absorb the science, discovery, and history channels. On the first occasion the 6 day creation story of the universe was presented to me in Sunday school I already was highly skeptical of that, as I believed in cosmological evolution already. Though I hadn't quite the language skills to articulate that, I knew in private that I found the man in the television behind the animations of stars and planets more convincing than the lady at Sunday school who was trying her very best (and failing) to be more interesting than the toys in the Sunday school room. I wasn't always proud to be a heathen, I tried to believe in what they were saying, but I never really was able to. When I found out some people just didn't bother with going through the motions of religion because they didn't believe in that nonsense and called themselves 'atheists' that news was, ironically, a godsend. I knew more or less from the first time I heard of atheism in a formal sense around 11 or 12 years old that that's what I was.

Atheism was great! No more did I worry about what some bronze age moral code had to say about me and what I was doing. Abandoning religion was the first major stepping stone for me in discovering who I am; looking at the world without the filter of religion (and not just any religion, but the kind of Lutheran Christianity practiced in Tx) I was able to come to some very different conclusions about what was acceptable, and it helped me to accept those things in myself and others. Most importantly, I didn't feel ashamed about my interests and was able to feed my insatiable curiosity unabashed.

This intellectual freedom would lead me into alternative politics, an interest in the sciences, and indeed a great eagerness to learn about that which had previously been occult or forbidden but which was now simply other voodoo which was fun to read about. Eventually I stumbled upon atheistic satanism and was absolutely captivated by its central message of acquiring knowledge for the power it bestows. To this day I consider myself a bit of an atheistic satanist and I accept the literary analysis of the bible by mainstream satanism that the most moral act in that text is when Lucifer convinces Eve to eat of the fruit from the tree of knowledge and thereby bestows humanity with its intellectual potential.

I've always been a leftist, from the moment I had my own individual awareness of politics, and my adventures in leftism have indeed led my far astray from mainstream philosophy. Growing up, my parents were democrats in a deeply red state, but they didn't talk about that very much to me or others. Being much more bull-headed than either of my parents, I was destined to learn why they didn't care to talk about politics later in life when I experienced the nastiness in others firsthand as the town communist-atheist in the upper class christian town where I attended school K-12. But the reaction I got from others did not discourage me at all, and over the course of my primary education I went from a general leftist, to a socialist, to an outright proud Marxist and continued to be vocal about my ideas. Of course life would have been easier for me if I had just quietly accepted things and moved on, but I didn't desire an easy life; I wanted then as I do now to propagate ideas which have the power to effect positive change in the world even if that meant swimming against the current.

Despite being largely ostracized in high school, I found shelter among those who were less violently opposed to my ideas or identity and had what I would consider a relatively healthy social life. I had a small but tight-knit group of friends. We were by no means a homogeneous group in terms of politics, race, religion, gender, sexuality etc, although of course some of us did belong to separate groups of friends with much more uniformity, as is the case in the complex social world we live in.

I went to college at Oklahoma State University, for Computer Science. Long story super short I ended up switching to management information systems and graduated with a BS in that. During my time in college I did some stuff I probably shouldn't write down yet for legal reasons, but I also became less of a statist and more of an anarchist. I didn't believe that a state apparatus was the correct way to implement communism or even a viable way anymore, and still don't. I was inspired by thinkers like Bakunin and Kropotkin and by philosophies such as post-scarcity anarchism and fully-automated luxury communism.

My view is that the state, is inherently hierarchical (obviously) and cannot ever implement full communism- the absence of social hierarchy. I think this view is largely supported by historical evidence which suggests that for long spans of history mankind organized itself into more or less egalitarian communes, and that only after the enclosure movement and rise of social hierarchy did we see states form as the vanguards of that hierarchy. The recent failed attempts at enacting state-communism in my opinion also validate the idea that the state is inevitably the vanguard of hierarchy and cannot possibly implement full communism. Therein lies our difference; I don't wish to liberate the people as they do, I wish for the people to liberate themselves. I know many other communists want to be told that the workers can form a vanguard party and usher in communism using the state infrastructure, and I have had bitter debates regarding my refusal to accept such an idea.

Regardless of leftist infighting (which is one of the reasons we can't have nice things.)I believe in dismantling all forms of social hierarchy (patriarchy, hetero-supremacy, racism, the state,etc...) through direct action and as such I am an anarcho-communist. Of course I feel anarcho-communism is more true to the idea of communism than state communism, but obviously like anybody else I have to grapple with confirmation bias. I try my best to be a principled anarchist and communist, I share freely of my resources to the extent that I can, with no jealous attachment to material value, giving to the homeless and those in need as I can (of course I know the mainstream paternalistic thinking which is that that doesn't help the big picture, but it helps that person individually) and acting against instances of misogyny, racism, and general bigotry as they happen around me. For me, anarcho-communism is about cooperation and radical solidarity and to that end I help others directly and spread anarchist/communist propaganda both verbally in my real world interactions and in photographic/written content online.

Oh, and I did put in the title that I'm queer and that's still true. My whole life since birth I've been disoriented and confused by the concept of gender roles, so the first time I was presented the idea that gender and sex are distinct I knew immediately I had no gender and later learned that is called being agender. Sexually, I can be/have been attracted to people literally anywhere on the gender spectrum, although when I initially realized I wasn't 'normal' (fuck what hetero-normative values do to us) I identified as bisexual, now I identify as pansexual. Really though, neither of those things are as important to me as communism (as you may be able to tell by the amount of text devoted to it.) I am not closeted and generally don't try to hide being queer but I also don't tell people who don't ask so I have known some people for years that found out I am queer and were genuinely surprised/shocked. To be honest, I dont talk about it alot for the dual reason of it being uncomfortable to be asked to explain your sexuality and that I feel it shouldn't be necessary. Straight people don't tell the world they are straight, I see no reason why I should feel compelled to clarify to people that I am queer. Whatever assumptions people make about me only says anything about them.

That's about all the general-context level stuff I have to say about myself. More specific biographical stuff and just general thoughts and musings may come in the future...

This is me, in the feature match at Yugioh Championship Series, Houston 2016

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Welcome to Steemit! Glad to have you on board this wild ride.

Thanks! I'm excited to be part of this, and the blockchain movement in general as I see great revolutionary potential in blockchain.

I just joined this site and it's nice to find a like minded person. I would roughly describe myself as agender as well!

Welcome to steemit!
It's good to have you here :)

"I'm just your average queer, anarcho-communist, atheist...[whatever that is]"

I can tell you "whatever that is":

What you are is an SJW douche who isn't cool, edgy, or original but who has managed to encapsulate every boring, trendy, modern-leftist cliche in his introductory post title...congrats!

You're 'queer', how nice for you! How brave of you in the year 2016 to let your fag-flag fly!

You're a 'communist', guess you gave away all of your possessions then, eh?

And you're an atheist, wow, edgy-to-the-max bro! In the year 2016 you don't believe in imaginary sky-gods, woo-hoo!

That you self-identify as an "anarchist" almost makes me want to stop using the label myself...

What you are is an SJW douche who isn't cool...

I have no reason to feel offended by being labeled a social justice warrior. In no way does it feel insulting to be associated with social justice. If anything, I wear SJW as a badge of pride.

That you self-identify as an "anarchist" almost makes me want to stop using the label myself...

You and all the other self described "anarcho-capitalists" definitely should do that. Anarchism and capitalism are fundamentally incompatible. Capitalism cannot exist without the state existing as the vanguard of capitalist property relations.

You're a 'communist', guess you gave away all of your possessions then, eh?

In the absence of full communism, It isn't practical for me to give up all of my resources unilaterally as I can't expect the same support from others. However, if you read my article you would know that I said.

I try my best to be a principled anarchist and communist, I share freely of my resources to the extent that I can, with no jealous attachment to material value, giving to the homeless and those in need as I can (of course I know the mainstream paternalistic thinking which is that that doesn't help the big picture, but it helps that person individually) and acting against instances of misogyny, racism, and general bigotry as they happen around me.

I have no real attachment to material things or aspiration to accumulate vast wealth. I therefore share freely of my resources to those around me in greater need, I literally have shared of my own resources all the way until I could barely support myself despite having a decent amount more resource-power than the average person, because I can't even bring myself to hoard further resources after my needs are met.

From my experience, those who put "social" in front of other words are usually talking about the opposite of the word which comes after it (in this case "justice")...so, "social justice" in reality means "no justice".

Well, I hope to live to see an anarchist world in which I can be an AnCap and you can be an AnCom...because I'd love to see how AnCom's deal w/the economic-calculation problem absent a system of prices/profit and the fact that different people have different ability/value levels. The reason we don't see many voluntary collectives today is because they simply don't work and aren't compatible w/human nature. Those who want to level society down to the lowest-common-denominator are the ones who will always need an agency of violence ("the state") to do so.

Yeah, its easier to SAY you're a communist than to actually BE one, isn't it?

From your last paragraph here it REALLY sounds like you're a guilt-ridden upper-middle-class white person (your pic/name seems hispanic tho)...and I'm guessing you DO have an attachment to material things like everyone else, but are simply virtue-signaling in order to appear 'cool'.

As someone who came from actual poverty (albeit 1st-world poverty which really isn't poverty at all) I feel no shame in 'hoarding' as many resources as I can acquire...and I understand that people generally end up deserving what they get.

And, why did you feel the need to say you're a "queer"? Why does it even matter and isn't it a personal thing?

I've not met a hetero yet who feels the need to prominently display his/her sexual orientation the way homo's always seem to do...I would never think to say "I'm just your average hetero, AnCap, atheist", it'd just be silly.

I remember when homo's used to say how being gay wasn't a choice but just the way they were born, but now all the fuckers can talk about is being gay...as if an alleged accident of birth is their entire identity. Its kinda sick...

I've not met a hetero yet who feels the need to prominently display his/her sexual orientation

That's because that's the assumed sexuality in our heteronormative society

@kingkrawdad

Heteronormativity
Heteronormativity is the belief that people fall into distinct and complementary genders (man and woman) with natural roles in life. It assumes that heterosexuality is the only sexual orientation or only norm, and states that sexual and marital relations are most (or only) fitting between people of opposite sexes. Consequently, a "heteronormative" view is one that involves alignment of biological sex, sexuality, gender identity and gender roles. Heteronormativity is often linked to heterosexism and homophobia.

Its not being a splinter group to come to conclude that we live in a society which is heteronormative; You would know that from life experience if you were LGBTQIA.

"heteronormative"

Maybe I'm getting old, but I sure am getting tired of what seems to be an increasing urge to endlessly divide society into more and more specific splinter-groups...it really is silly the issues that have gained prominence...

why did you feel the need to say you're a "queer"? Why does it even matter and isn't it a personal thing?

Well, this is a #introduceyourself and the way I see it anybody can and should be understood both in the context of their

  • gender
  • race
  • sexuality
  • religious affliation
  • politics
  • class
  • age
    etc...

Given that we live in a culture which is biased strongly by all those variables it makes sense for people to talk about themselves within the general frame of these ideas. Especially given that being their are systems of oppression which work against many minorities in these categories including but not limited to

  • the patriarchy
  • racism
  • hetero-normativity
  • Religious fundamentalism
  • fascism
  • classism and economic hierarchy itself
  • ageism

It really doesn't make sense for you to attack me for expressing my identity in an introduceyourself, I'm trying to give people context with which to attempt to understand me. Besides which, its not like I'm out in public telling everybody I'm queer, I'm saying it in a discussion specifically about myself. If you had bothered to read more than the title you would know I even said

I am not closeted and generally don't try to hide being queer but I also don't tell people who don't ask so I have known some people for years that found out I am queer and were genuinely surprised/shocked. To be honest, I dont talk about it alot for the dual reason of it being uncomfortable to be asked to explain your sexuality and that I feel it shouldn't be necessary.

also, I just read your comment clarifying you read further and did see a bit more common ground. So kudos for trying to understand me.

Took a little more time/effort to read you bio (my fault that I quickly scanned thru it earlier)...we actually have a fair amount in common (I'm an introvert, came from a Democrat household, had social difficulty in high school/found it hard to fit it, adhere to some pretty unpopular ideas, am an anarchist-atheist)...main difference, I'm assuming, is age-wise between us (I'm 42, guessing you're under 30).

You down-voted me on another thread & it pissed me off, so sorry if I got a bit hot-under-the-collar. Take care bro, we've got some differences, but at least you seem open-minded and see the state as a major negative.

Keep fighting the good fight!

Dood, Anarchy and Communism are about as opposite as you can get. Just sayin'