What do ghosts dress up as for Halloween? As John Cena because you can't see them.
Why Did the Italian Go to the Sauna? For a self'a steam.
A really hot girl was checking me out today. Then I paid her for the groceries and left the store.
I'm doing the vacuuming.. It doesn't need doing but it's a legitimate way of annoying the kids
My friends say I'm like a candle. If you forget I exist, so help me God, I'll burn your house down.
