What would you get if you crossed King Kong with a skunk? I don't know but it could always get a seat on a bus!
Q: What do you call a white, poofy space alien? A: Martianmallow.
Kid behind me on plane kicking my chair and coloring. *turns around* *grabs one of his crayons* *slowly breaks it* *whispers ""you're next""*
Husband: So we've basically given up. Me: On what? H: *gestures to 4yo carefully piling spaghetti on his head*: Parenting.
In bed, women commonly mistake me for Usain Bolt because I always come first.
