What does Barack Obama say when his workweek is done? Yes weekend
What do Apple and Blackberry have in common? Neither one has Jobs.
So this one time I offered some shrimp to this Jewish friend of mine... Me: This shrimp is great. Wanna try some? Friend: Sorry, I'm Jewish. Me: No, it's free! *from a comic by Cyanide and Happiness*
I've got 99 problems and 86 of them are completely made up scenarios in my head that I'm stressing about for absolutely no logical reason.
Time to buy a new car, a bigger TV, a better cell phone and a faster laptop so I'll finally be happy! (Repeat over and over until you die)
