My girlfriend left me for telling too many bad jokes... I guess her love was pun-conditional.
I hate when people don't watch where I'm going when I'm walking and texting.
Man comes home to find his wife in bed with another man. The husband came back with a gun and shot the man in bed. The wife replied ""this is why you don't have anymore friends.""
What time does Andy Murray go to bed? Tennish!
What's the object of a Jewish football game? To get the quarter back!
