This was cool dude... The scheme was really interesting and seemed a bit all over the place, but could tell it wasn't random. Great imagery, great use of words. Only critique I'd give is that I'd like to see more use of rhyme. I can see where there are some multis in some bars, but then at time the end rhymes just didn't land together... Could be that the bar just ran into the next bar without much of a pause, but even then, for the reader it should be shown a bit more.
Appreciate you droppin the piece! Keep em coming!