A little more than several years ago my Mom wanted me to lock up a special piece of jewelry away for her. At the time she had a Safety Deposit box with her regular bank but it didnโt seem enough in her mind. Mom had one of the keys; with myself and my sister had access to it.
โBlack birds tend to like shiny things.โ ~ The Bloody Raven
In Memory of my Mother ๐
I hoped this wasnโt the result of another argument between my sister and Mom, bracing myself to another round of refereeing and in my mind recall where I stowed away my old office outfit for just such an occasion. The visual humor may go over their heads but Iโd wear it again if called upon.
I waited for the phone call but nothing came further of the issue between them yet Mom never asked for the necklace back. Crisis resolved?
Few months passed when I got news of her being admitted to Burnaby general hospital following a freak fall. She had sustained a head injury while shopping for groceries and was under medical watch for at least three days observation. After a little more than a week she was returned home. The Doctor stated that there were no further problems but her motor skills have deteriorated beyond the point where she should no longer be driving and gives refers her to a Gerontologist. At this point my siblings had a long talk with Mom to write her Will, and an Enduring Power of Attorney. Then she had to give up her Driverโs license and sign her car over to my sister. Since my sister continued to live with Mom and was not fully employed she could fill in to drive or accompany Mom to her errands and appointments.
Not even a year later following the head injury, my sister began reporting to me of our Motherโs peculiar behavior. It was gradual at first. Mom wanted my sister to drive her to a place to meet Dad. Dad died in an accident decades ago and the original business was no longer there. This repeated over and over, Mom insisted to be taken to a place prompted by her past memories of commitments. I understood that this was frustrating my sister having to drive her even in the middle of the night. Another obsession developed with the need to go to the bank to pay her Tax or Credit card bills.
I had long taken over filing my Momโs Income tax and Property taxes years ago to relieve her of that burden. While my Sister kept her eye on the Credit card. There was no way anything was missed from my documents until I realized that she was stung by at least one Phishing scam playing into her sense of insecurity. I donโt know how much cash had been lost but my Mom fell for them easy. We made sure her cell phone had to be set to taking in only known family and frequent use phone numbers then filtering out anyone else.
Things came to a head when she disappeared in the middle of the night. This freaked my sister out when Mom was escorted back home by the police or by the Transit System Supervisor when she was found wandering downtown or over in the next municipality. She became a danger to herself and now required a higher level of care, more than my sister could provide.
Over the last seven years I made a point to visit her weekly at her Residence for lunch. We'd chat, I'd helped her with the latest craft project, go out for a walk or even sit in on a Mah-Jong game.
The last two years where heart breaking watching Parkinsonโs slowly rob my Motherโs ability to walk and eat. My being on medical leave had one blessing is that it afforded me much more time to visit my Mom up until she was transferred to the Hospital with aspiration pneumonia. My brother and I were there daily to help feed her but she refused to eat, I put the spoon down and held her hand. โI love you Mom.โ It felt colder. I knew it wasnโt long.
Mom was laid to rest next to my Dad a week and a half ago.
This lovely Jade heart pendant is old judging by the tiny bumps and wear along the edge of the 22k gold bezel. No hallmarks or any identifiable marks. I donโt recall if this was passed to Mom by her Grandma or not but I have a feeling that this was now meant for me. I know she has a safety deposit box with more jewelry to distribute as I now begin to take on the role of Executor once again. It is not even eleven months since I lost my soul sister Debbie to Cancer.
I will make sure that my sons know that Jade pendant came from my Mom.
My apologies to my communities for being quiet on Hive and Discord over the last several weeks, I find myself having my hands full again, sorting my emotions and family affairs out. Being an Executor can be a thankless, emotionally draining, and energy sapping job like that of a referee's.
Thank you friends, for understanding.
Stacking Hive and Precious metals for that dark and stormy night!
The #piratesunday tag is the scurvy scheme of Captain @stokjockey for #silvergoldstackers pirates to proudly showcase their shiny booty and plunder for all to see. Landlubbers arrrhโฆ welcomed to participate and be a Pirate at heart so open yer treasure chests anโ show us what booty yea got!
References & Sources
Photos are my own shot with an ancient 2018 Samsung SM-A530W or otherwise indicated.
Dress; Suzy Shier Black & White style3427 CA35467
P. Image under Pixabay
W. Wiki Commons
โ ๏ธ๐ Page Dividers by thekittygirl. โ๏ธ๐
Cameo Raven Brooch from The Black Wardrobe.
The 2024 Hive 0.999 Silver Round.
Posted Using InLeo Alpha
I am sorry, @kerrislravenhill
Your mom is with you always, first in her lifetime, then forever in your and your siblings' memory.
I am praying that your broken heart is healed through Godโs never-ending love.
Lots of hugs!
!HUG
!LADY
!LUV
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There is always something good and positive we learn from out of our loss and grief. I know that my siblings and I are much closer as a smaller family. We put our differences and past issues behind us to support each other and carry on from here. I believe this new commitment will be honoring to both my Mom and Dad.
Always, with !LUV ๐ค๐บโค๏ธ
!LADY
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"Errisl- Huir uv a stoaner tae lose yer maw. Mah condolences matie. Me guidwife Sally May's parents ur goin' ben much th' sam. Stoaner times fur aw'. Mah folks passed mony years ago, but th' pain o' nae havin' 'em aroond lasted fur a lang time. (Ahh did notice 'att yoo've bee whieest Lass...) Th' crew an Ahh wull alwas' be haur fur ye!" ๐งก -Keptin
Ahh be back Sair, an' don ease up on th' gunnery practice either. Ahh want t' see a ship shape crew when ahh do.
Bluidy Lawyers! Ahh want t' keel haul th' lot of 'em! ๐
Condolences with your loss and no worries. We all understand, i do for sureโฆ
I am sending you a big !HUG and lots of strength and much love. ๐ค
The pendant is stunning.
Thank you @littlebee4 !LUV Received.
I'm sure that this Jade pendant was intended for me as the eldest, and I will cherish and wear this pendant in my Mother's memory.
If any of my sisters want to claim it I will be willing to them trade up for a more valuable jewelry item from the Safety deposit bow. Most important is that I want see all her children live together in peace, cooperation and in mutual support.
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I am sure you will. Cherish it well.
I hope all the children can just do that.
I know the opposite all to well, so it can be hard sometimes. Sending strength.
Big !HUG
you don't need to excuse anything! It is PD is bad... any neurodegenerative disease consume a lot the family's patient...the grandma of my wife had Alzheimer it was thought too... my grandma had a sorta of problem too...she died at the age of 101, but her mind didn't existed anymore for at least 15 years.
!LUV
Thank you @gwajnberg
I could tell when my Mom has moments of lucidity as she is in her late stages but she could not clearly articulate it in a manner that we could understand. At times my instincts interpreted it to me as, "Let me go." But our natural response and desire is to deny 'letting her die' as she inferred. Oh, how our minds rationalizes these as spurious when confronted with reality and blaming the dementia.
We hit a brick wall at this point, what kind of quality of life will she have anyway?
I understand ...we usually talk a lot about this type of topic when remembering our grandparents thinking about us and our parents... It is painful and feel for you =(
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Is sure is a pretty pendant and necklace! Sorry to hear about the slow deterioration you mom had to suffer. Having the mind go is a horrible thing. I hope you are doing okay, it has been more than a rough year for you.
Thanks @thebighigg
This will be a cherished pendant.
Rough is getting rougher. As you may know my health has not been good lately, it's leading up to an urgent surgery I need by the end of this month. It is gradually feeling more painful as time goes on, there are feelings of mild nausea now and it may become acute within the next two weeks.
I hope I can keep it under control until the surgery.
!LUV
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Wow
It hurts so much to lose oneโs mother. I feel bad about it and I hope God will be with you
Iโm also happy that you kept beautiful memories of your mother
I will cherish and wear this pendant in my Mother's memory. She was a tough and demanding parent, but I know that she meant better even when her children could not met her expectations.
Thanks @rafzat
Such a beautiful memory this is. There is never a piece of jewelry that can replace mother love โค๏ธ. But we know memories are everlasting especially beautiful ๐ป ones.
Thanks for sharing โค๏ธ
LADY!
Mom was a tough and disciplined parent, characteristics that suited her at work and in her career, a workaholic and had high expectations. But she does so for our benefit. She cares for her children in a different way. And I've almost overlooked that, discovering that she was a fine parent after all putting my relationship with her in a new perspective.
!LUV
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Thank you for the support @luvshares @kerrislravenhill . Lots of blessings ๐
What a role model โค๏ธ. She indeed left something more than gold and silver. A loving memory. One that is everlasting.
Thanks for sharing beautiful ๐ป. Love ๐.
A beautiful jade necklace to remember your mother by @kerrislravenhill!โค๏ธ
I went through this similar situation with my grandfather. His lifelong occupation was a mechanic. At one point, he hotwired his car and drove hundreds of miles to his childhood home. Several days later someone found him and he had ID on himโฆ.. and my dad drive down and picked him up and brought him back home!โค๏ธ
Sad part of aging for some โฆโฆ๐
Yes, it's like reliving their memories in the now.
Things could end tragically as in your Grandfather's case.
There was an incident when my sister caught my mom trying to climb down the outside of their condominium to go do what she believed was needed to be done. It was a thirty foot drop to the ground and she would have had a fatal fall. ๐ฒ Mom needed supervised care, there was no question about it.
Wow thatโs so scary!๐ณ
It would be so wonderful if they could find a cure for memory loss!๐
Oh Kerris! ๐ข๐ญ๐ญ๐ช
I am so so sorry.
It is so hard, and with Deb gone, and your dad being gone so long ago. When you face lifeโs biggest struggles and profound losses, all you yearn for is the unconditional comfort that comes from the most loved people in your life. And coping with their lossโฆ when they would have been your people to turn tooโฆ the emptiness, sorrow, lonelinessโฆ it is indescribable but felt so completely.
Sending you the biggest hug and holding you and your family so much love.
Hug and !LUV eagerly accepted @dfinney
Just when I am getting back on my feet.
Like Debbie, we saw this coming.
For the sake of my siblings I have to be there for them, and we're closer together than we have been before. This was also the opportunity to touch base with the more distant family members. I got lots to do, Lord give me strength and the energy I need to do this.
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I only got virtual hugs for you. It's okay to stay quiet for a while to process our emotions...
That Jade heart pendant tho.. looks really magical. You'll be fine and fully recharged soon!
Thank you @diabolika, my batteries are a bit worn down over the decades so recharging may take longer than usual.
Sorry for your loss Kerris. That is a beautiful pendant. Sorry๐น
!pimp
Thank you @silverd510, as I remember you losing your father. I hope your mother is doing okay.
Anytime Kerris. Yeah, three particular days bother her still July 11th, their anniversary, September 1st my dadโs birthday and November 9th when he passed.
!pimp
Condolences @kerrislravenhill. It's a beautiful pendant. Treasure it in her memory.
I shall, every time I wear it @fat-elvis
Ms. Ravenhill @kerrislravenhill
I am Grateful you are Back. These are Trying Times and it is tough to see your Mom go. I hope you find the Strength and know that She will be always be in your Thoughts...........
!LUV
!LADY
!PIZZA
I hope I could keep things together. What comfort food I can have has been reduced to; potato salad, sugar free Cocoa, and herbal tea. I can't have fried fried foods like Chicken, Captain Morgan rum or any alcohol or Chocolate cake or any cake made with refined sugar or I'd be in a world of pain.
!LUV
!LADY
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Fully Understandable. Do What you need to do and Stay POSITIVE.........
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Oh gosh. So sorry.. I know there's probably a lot of emotions circling round and I honestly can't imagine how anyone would be unforgiving about your lack of time on HIVE! I hope you found a little catharis and comfort in writing this. So sorry for your losses - sometimes life throws a lot at us all at once. Much love.
It's difficult both losing mom and dealing with family disputes. Don't appologize for not being active here, when life has challenges like these, they take priority. !LUV !HUG
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Sis, I am sorry that things seem to be snowballing for you. The loss of Debbie and now of your mom is more than enough. My condolences and I am not that far away should you need a shoulder or help.
Thank you for sharing the story. Take care and please breathe. Much love sis!๐ค๐๐น !LADY !LUV
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I'll have your back covered, cuz.
It's really been a helluva year for you, the past 12 months
You're in our thoughts and prayers, dear one. ๐
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I'm so sorry for your loss, this must be hard to loose your Momma and such an important figure in your life. Sounds like you and your sister did what you could to help her in her later years to make her comfortable. I'm sure she was thankful of that.
Nice bling, the jade heart is lovely. Stay strong. xox
Lovely piece that will harbor many memories.
It must have been hard to deal with while your mother had these weird requests and disappeared at night.. My boyfriend shared some similar stories of his mother during her final time here. She had the weirdest requests of things that were long gone or not available and he and his sister did everything to grant her wishes.
I'm so sorry for you that you are dealing with this huge loss now, especially so quickly after you lost your beloved friend Deb. My deepest condolences sis !LUV
Sending you lots of positive vibes and hugs !LADY <3
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!LADY
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Your mother's story is sad. There is NO discussion, you are NOT an arbiter, but something worse happens. Scams have always been and are the order of the day. Your mother was unfortunately vulnerable.
I don't understand how people who do harm can sleep in peace. It seems that they have no conscience. Their job is to be ready to take advantage of the slightest carelessness. They have no forgiveness. I hope that KARMA always charges them and I know that it is like that.
I wish you a happy day.
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