When I was younger, I thought being a good little statist was necessary to be a good member of society, and I did try. I worshipped the magic skycloth, I venerated the government offices and their occupants, I respected the enforcers of government edicts, and I fervently believed the government was inherently good and just even if the men who held office occasionally were not. I even joined the Young Marines because I thought the military defended my freedom.
But all along, I had just enough nagging doubts to keep me from going all-in on The State. So I don't have a Come-To-Anarchy moment like some soldiers who came back from combat tours to realize what kind of a clusterfuck foreign policy is, for example.
I guess you were a little deeper than I was. When we prayed to Holy Pole Quilt in school, I never liked it. It seemed creepy to me, and I faked it or made up my own words most of the time. But they only did that to us a couple of years (I moved around a lot).
Probably my awakening began when I was 10 or so and told my parents I just wanted to make enough money to buy some land in the middle of nowhere and live there for the rest of my life. They informed me about property taxes and asked how I was going to keep the land without money. I KNEW ransoming property that had been bought and paid for was wrong, and that thought kept eating away at my belief in government until I just lost all belief in its legitimacy whatsoever.
I generally kept that opinion to myself until I watched the Butchers of Waco murdering people on live TV. After that I couldn't keep quiet.
I was gullible.
Did you know that "gullible" rhymes with "orange" if you say it slowly enough?
LOL. At least you didn't try one of the "Did you know your penis is the same circumference as ...?" gullibility traps.