"Turns out I still couldn’t see very well.", if you hadn't told me that I wouldn't have known. That line had me laughing real good. The one and only thing that would make this story any better is if your parents had named you Jack when you were born.
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I'm just not the most intuitive guy in the world. Ask any of the three exs. I just kinda figured if I could see it then I knew where it was. Not so much, I still get bit by that bug every now and again. It is funny. I've got way more time without my right eye than with and the 'two eye' version is still firmly implanted.
That is really something that the "two eye" version hasn't been over written in the brain by now.
And for the record. A character we will meet shortly WAS named Jack right at birth. None of that 'call me John' confusion for him..
I am guessing he is going to be an interesting character as well.