Shit, I did it again. The one thing I just can’t stop myself from doing. The one act that seems to multiply my pain.
I look into the mirror and stare at myself with utter disdain. I wonder why I still live.
Does He want me to continue to drown before He throws the safety net? I look and seem fine but my thoughts and actions are just insane. Well, how can I properly hide this pain than just to remain the same? At least with this form I know myself and won’t need to make any suffocating efforts. I won’t have to deal with the blinding stares and the obvious questions. I will just have to insanely hide my new found sanity. It’s pathetic I know but what can I do? Tell me, tell me, and tell me now! What will you do if u were me? Tell the truth? Face the crowd? You are speechless I see. Thinking of an answer for me. Yh I thought so. It aint that easy you see. It takes great strength and courage to do this and I have gotten to a stage where I’m too frail and weak to act. I just can’t help it.
If only there was a way or just someone who will come. Come to me and just say; yh I know you, I know your pain, I have felt your sorrow and I have lived through it. There is hope for you and if I’ve been able to fight this then you can do it. If only I could hear this words, my path will be clean and my change be easier.
KOJO PICASSO
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