You probably just described 90% of so-called self-proclaimed "nice guys." Been down that road a little bit myself, too in my 20s... although my motivations were somewhat different: "If you don't know how to be around someone who treats you with kindness and respect, I have no use for you."
But anyway, beautiful and heartfelt sharing... thanks!
Thank you. Yeah, it's not a pretty road.
I still call myself a nice guy but only because I'm a pretty decent guy to know, you know? I learned that you didn't need to be a dick to get a woman you liked. You can still be nice about it, you just needed to know what you wanted.