I admit it.
I was a drunk most of my adult life.
But, was it really the alcohol's fault, or even my fault that I got "blacked out" most nights?
When I was eight I was watching the Muppet Show from the floor next to my parents.
I began swaying back and forth and it felt good.
Later, I called it "Rock Rocking" and it has been with me ever since, kind of like a perpetual rocking chair.
I do it when I can and I'm 45 now.
Should I kick that like I did alcohol, or are the two wrapped together in some kind of clever family dysfunction?
Did my dad have some weird thing he did because of his upbringing?
Or my mom?
Or is it just me, trying to soften the blow of reality by "rocking " it calmly like a crying baby.
Is it the alcohol or is it something deep inside?
Alcohol is only a symptom of something much deeper I heard.
Then, we can take this a little further and say we're all kind of running from something a little. . .
From eating more candy than we should to getting lost in 12 hours of a video game.
We as humans love distractions, even if it's a slow death.
I think I know the answer. . .
We need to fill the hole of emptiness we grew up with and are still carrying.
That hole was probably non-existent when we were really young, but it got bigger as we got older.
Well, I know that the Beatles were right when they sang "Love is all you need."
It's starting to thunder here real bad.
I hope you all like my first steemit!
And, I love you a little more because I love myself a little more. . .
The love of things one did as a kid-i.e., playing in the dirt, building models, etc.-is what one should fill those holes with. They create a bit of happiness. Or, if you didn't have fun things as a kid, do what you always wanted to do. It helps a lot. I'm so glad I don't fill the void with alcohol and drugs. Keep up the good work!