This post will start with the typical “I’m not like the other girls.”
Simply because I am not.
I am not the type of girl who will watch you play basketball while I cheer on in the background among your “fans”.
I am not the type of girl who will desperately try to lose weight, just because you told me I look better in a sleeveless sundress you saw your friend wearing.
I am not the type of girl who will change and adapt to your own preferences.
I am not the type of girl who will compensate for your lack of self esteem.
I am not the type of girl who will be your mirror that will show you an image of yourself that you want to see.
I am not the type of girl who will serve as just an experience.
I am neither an accessory nor a trophy, and never will I be.
I am not a thing for you to own, and never will I be.
I read books. I live for words. I live for the freedom to think, and to create. I live for the fact that there is beauty in literature, in poetry, and in solitude — perhaps all at once. I yearn for a mind who will show me the world from a different perspective. I yearn for an adventure filled with unicorns and dragons in a town where pirates, Skittle milk, and good hair days coexist. I crave for a soul that will show me a compassion to adore. I want someone to write with, to write for, and to write about.
I live for music. I live for art. I live for a belief that there is a world where everything is possible. I live for a hope that everything will get better. I live with a hope that we’ll all learn to be free — free in expression, free in doing what we want to without being shamed and condemned.
I live for the Earth. I live for the people in it as well. I look forward to living for I know that there are people who live for the same purpose as I do — those people who are fueled by kindness and compassion, without reward.
I live for God. I live for His never ending grace and for His love that will forever endure. I live for the sole purpose to serve for His glory and His glory alone. I live for the promise that I am His daughter, of whom He will fight and care for. I am alive (and still alive) by His grace.
I live for pain, for sorrow, and for bitterness. And I live for joy, peace, and freedom as well.
I live for puppies, for cute babies, for cool indie music, for ukuleles, for good food and good coffee, for good books, for amazing people, but I will never, ever, live (just) for you.
To date me is to date an ocean of storm — a rage of tears and rampant emotions, screaming one after another — where you’ll find the calm in the heart of its own, where everything is still shaking and moving .
To date me is to date a Ditto — a roller coaster of transformation, adapting from one situation to another, moving on from one phase to another.
To date me is to date a child with a heart of an adult — a child who needs to be frequently reminded to sleep early, to drink her medicine, to change the sheets, to eat right, and an adult that can think and act on her own, guarded by her own choices and principles.
To date me is to date a slowly ticking clock without numbers — a possible endeavor of waiting and a heap load of patience.
To date me is to date my family — for my family is who I am, and who you will be (in the future) if things start moving towards that direction.
To date me is to serve my God — to wait for what He has planned and for what life has to offer, to make Him the center of anything and everything that we do, and to make our relationship a good foundation for us both to grow in His love.
To date me is to be me — to understand and know my own mind, to appreciate my craft, to read what I read, to share the same thoughts, to differ in opinion, to battle about issues in society, and to agree on the things that matter.
To date me is for you to be compassionate for others.
To date me is for you to be able to patiently wait with me for God’s perfect timing.
To date me is to serve the community I serve, untiringly even without material recompense.
To date me is for you to learn to see the beauty in the simple things as I do.
To date me is to build a friendship with me and the people around me.
To date me is for you to see that the world will never revolve within just the two of us.
To date me is for you to see that this world is our own playground that needs saving.
To date me is for you to be someone who can handle all these things. To date me is to date my books, to speak my language, and to understand my world.
For the record, I don’t need you to be perfect. I just need you to be human. You don’t need to be rich, handsome, talented, or a genius. I just want to see your compassion, your heart to serve others in need, and your selflessness in the things that you do.
I live for all these things I believe in. I am what I believe in. For I am His masterpiece. For I am my own gallery. Regardless of my mistakes, despite my shortcomings.
Not because of who you want me to become, but because I already am.
You may want to date me now, but I will choose to wait for what the Lord has to offer.
I know that I’m not perfect, and I don’t claim to be. I am not that pretty. I am not that girly. I am not that smart. I am not that talented.
The only assurance I can give you (when that time comes) is that I promise to care for you and to pour you my love that will be yours and yours only.
And who knows, it might just be worth the wait and worth the fight. ;)
Congratulations @kellisols! You received a personal award!
You can view your badges on your Steem Board and compare to others on the Steem Ranking
Vote for @Steemitboard as a witness to get one more award and increased upvotes!