all this leads me to think that I've never been in the right relationship, I've always had to work hard to keep the magic going... so that must come out on its own? At my age, I doubt I'll get that harmony.
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You have always been in the right relstiondhips because all of them have led you to this point. So the question now is,
now that you know differently what are you going to do? What are you going to choose?
The first thing is to read more of his blog, there are surely more tools, thank you