Just The Ending
PART II
Me: Takes his keys, gets in his car, in a now seemingly ridiculous gown and heels, to drive a stick shift. I make it to the gas station down the street, probably in second gear the whole way. My leg is shaking so bad that I am unable to control the gas pedal.
15 minutes or so later...
Husband: Comes walking down the street, almost like he knew I'd be there. Sees the car and gets in.
Me: "You know what, let me drive you home...so you can watch me leave you."
Scene: Treacherous drive home. Between the heels, the adrenaline, the hatred spewing from my mouth, and the clutch, I really don't know how we made it in two (now very separate) pieces.
Scene: Bedroom. Dogs hiding way out of sight- energy speaks way louder than words, if you're listening.
Me: The expletives coming out of my face would make a sailor blush. I had no idea this monster inside of me could exist. I still, to this day, have never felt the heat of an anger like that. When William Congreve wrote that "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned..." he wasn't fucking kidding. Makes me wonder what he did.
Husband: In his most patronizing tone: "Just calm down and let's just be rational. Will you just sit down here? Stop packing. We both know that this will all blow over."
Me: "You're a fucking coward. A pussy. Why would I want to be married to a pussy?"
Husband: Visibly disturbed by my reference to him being the most female of genitalia: "Don't fucking call me that."
Me: In a need to demonstrate the negative quantity of fucks I gave at that point: "Fuck you, pussy."
Scene: Although the scene doesn't change, something else does. It's when something completely devastating happens and at the second it starts, everyone immediately knows it can never be taken back.
Husband grabs his gun. And I know, it is always loaded with a round in the chamber.
**Husband:** Rushes at me. Puts his right hand to the front of my neck and pushes me to the back of what seemed like a much longer walk-in closet than I had remembered upon our move-in date. Puts the gun to my head with his left hand. Now his monster is out. Great. "TAKE IT BACK. TAKE IT BACK TAKE IT BACK TAKE ITBACK TAKEITBACKTAKEITBACKTAKEITBACK."
Me: Dramatic pause. Rightly so. "No."
Husband: "TAKE IT FUCKING BACK RIGHT NOW."
Me: With the strangest sense of calm I have ever felt: "Do it. Just do it."