By Shulamit Shoshani, 68
Kiryat Yam, August 27 - Benny and I have been married forty-five years, and I love him dearly. That said, he has an aggravating tendency not to get around to doing the things I want him to do unless I remind him at least twice a day. But what happens if I predecease him? He won't complete those tasks, and that annoys me. I'd better send him messages in advance to make sure he doesn't forget anything.
I know that at the time, I won't care. But I care now. Better record or type those lists before it's too late.
I also know that, statistically, Benny stands a far greater chance than I do of dying first. Still, I cant take the chance that he'll neglect to make that appointment to renew our passports, or to cancel my phone plan beyond the twelve-month reduced-rate period.
Not to mention fixing those darn dining room chairs, with the loose cushions. If that "slips his mind" AGAIN after I'm gone, I swear, that will be the end of me.
I don't understand why he just puts off the things I tell him I want done. "Not today," or "I'll get to it when I have a chance, stop bothering me about it." Seldom an, "Okay," and then just doing it. Like he doesn't exist to do the things that I prioritize. Such nerve!
Remember that time he delayed replacing the cracked toilet seat until we had to replace the entire toilet because something broke inside? I cant stand that. He calls it "efficient." I call it inconsiderate.
I'm going to start the lists and the recordings today. I figure it'll take him at least a year of procrastination to do something about those marks on the stairwell wall even if I do remind him at lest once a week. We can start with that. Then he can organize the storage room to make space for the things I want put in there. And the old photos - he can finish scanning and digitizing the old photos that I won't get a chance to, in case I need to send or upload any of them.
The axiom goes, "When a man says he will do something, he will do it; there's no need to remind him of it every six months." False. At least when it comes to Benny, if I don't press him to do tedious or unpleasant tasks, he might not do them, and then he'll forget what he exists to do.
We wouldn't want that to happen even if I'm not around to enforce it.
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