I'm not normally active at this hour, but I can't sleep. I haven't gotten a wink of sleep all night, in fact, so I figured I'd share this bit with you. I first saw this meme about fifteen years ago, and it's still around, albeit in heavily altered form:
https://www.boredpanda.com/corporation-economies-explained-cows-ecownomics/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=organic
Anyway, here's the version I remember, along with some additions of my own (tell me which ones you think are mine in the comments):
Socialism: you have two cows. You give one to your neighbour.
Communism: you have two cows. The government takes both and gives you some milk.
Fascism: you have two cows. The government takes both and sells you some milk.
Nazism: you have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.
American corporation: you have two cows. You sell one and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You then hire a consultant to analyse why the cow dropped dead.
British corporation: you have two cows. Both are mad.
Irish corporation: you have two cows. Actually, upon closer inspection, you have two sheep.
Italian corporation: you have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
German corporation: you have two cows. You re-engineer them so that they live for a hundred years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
Czech corporation: you have two cows. You do exactly as the Germans do, then sell them for half the price.
Russian corporation: you have two cows. You count them again and find you have five cows. You count them again and find you have forty-two cows. You count them again and find you really do have two cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
Chinese corporation: you have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
Indian corporation: you have two cows. You worship them.
Japanese corporation: you have two cows. You re-design them so they are one tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a cute cow-cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them worldwide.
Australian corporation: you have two cows. Business seems pretty good. You close the office and go down to the pub to celebrate.
Swiss bank: you have 5000 cows. None of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.
Monopoly: you have 5000 cows. Everyone gets their milk from you. You charge whatever you want and control the entire market except for me, because I don't drink milk.
Traditional capitalism: you have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them all and retire on the income.
Hope you had a good laugh.
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