Perspective | Paradigm | Life | Change
I mentioned in one of my articles yesterday about a change in perspective that occurred by the grace of God. I don’t know how or when it did, but it just did, and then I hit the ‘aha’ moment. I had heard of these literal “Eureka” moments, but I experienced one for the first time yesterday.
Life had been on an autopilot of pessimism, unending regret, guilt, and powerlessness, for I had been left behind. I was in depression, and then when I was ready to come back, I realized I had been off for too long. I was left behind. Far behind. These kinds of thoughts are debilitating, and the one time that we conjure up the courage to battle it out, you hear voices like “too little too late”, “this won’t be enough”, “you have become a nobody”, and the like. With these thoughts, 'debilitating' is an understatement.
But things changed. All the mental struggle to get going got washed away just like that. Just a change in perspective. The new perspective was ‘what if I catch up with them?’, ‘What if I can overtake them?’, ‘Wouldn’t it be fun?’, ‘Just like while driving?’
That’s it. That did it. You will not understand the depth of the difference in perspective until you understand the inner dialogue I was subject to under each perspective. Let’s look at them.
I’ve Been Left Behind vs. Let’s Catch and Overtake Them
Here’s how the perspectives and, hence, my inner talk and energy differed.
Perspective 1: “I’ve been left behind”
- Extremely agitated. Almost childish
- Not wanting to deal with reality
- Wanting to hide
- Wanting to isolate myself even from friends
- Always comparing and non-stop attacking myself
- Feeling useless
- Feeling worthless
- Ashamed of myself
- Hurt that I can’t do anything
- Even when trying to do something, hear inner voice attacking the work – ‘too little too late’, ‘this won’t be enough to catch up to them’, ‘they are far ahead’, ‘they will be surprised that someone like you failed so miserably’
- Even when working, thoughts like ‘how do you even know this will work?’, ‘What if you are putting effort behind the wrong thing?’, ‘What will you do if this fails? What is plan B?’
- Even if I could get myself to work on my opportunities, there would be instant attacks like, ‘All that energy is going to last just one day. Tomorrow you will be back to doing nothing’, ‘There is hardly any meaning in doing this work’, ‘Nobody even acknowledges your work’.
- Unending regret and sadness
- Unhappy with the progress of family members
- Absolutely hurt to see others progressing
- Only recollecting failures in life
These and many, many more useless thoughts, feelings, and inner talks. These aren’t even the tip of the iceberg.
And now look at the contrast. All in a day.
Perspective 2: ‘Let's Catch Up With Them And Overtake Them’ [For clarity, the catch up is with people I felt have left me behind in career and life in general]
- Amazing energy levels to deal with work
- Working comes naturally, and the idea of catching up and going ahead is motivating
- The thought that all I have to do is put in some solid number of hours every day is good enough to take me across the finish line is inspiring. I feel in control again
- Work seems fun
- Energy levels are high and constant
- When hearing about others’ success, the feeling that I will catch up with them soon chimes in
- Absolutely open to socializing
- No longer second-guessing, instead feel confident about talking to others
- My current situation is no longer an impediment. In fact, the very feeling of changing the current situation is so exhilarating
- Constantly in good humour
- Feeling I can do a lot more
- Accepting myself
- Forgiving myself
- A deep sense of appreciation for my past
- A sense of gratitude towards God for showing me the way
- Confident
- Eager to get on with things
Again, these are also the tip of the iceberg. I didn’t even know that so much positivity existed within me. Some of them I clearly remember, I couldn’t feel about myself (earlier). But suddenly, all of them are easily flowing in.
This is just miraculous!!
God Played A Big Role | The Energy Levels Are Amazing!
So, like I said in the beginning, it all happened in the blink of an eye. Moments ago, I was struggling and hating myself and being a victim left behind in time, and then, poof, I am one of the most confident guys out there. This is what God can do in our lives. It is just amazing.
Also, I had tried energy exercise for so long, perspective changes, new thoughts, motivational speeches, goals, visual boards, and more. All of them worked to some extent and in some context, but nothing compares to what I am going through now. It is mind-boggling and even mind-bending.
I had never thought that one of the things that I loved back in school, later while driving, or even riding - catching up – would be the perspective change I required. I don’t have to try hard to catch up; it’s just natural. And to bring out something natural to become one of my motivations is something only God could do.
Thank You, God!
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