This post has triggered something inside me, I have to admit that I do not understand all of the part but I do most of it, I do meditation but not every day, just 3 time a week, I go to the jungle at least 30 days in a year just for seclusion, even not in one time, and I found that my temper become lower and lower when I come back home again. I go to the jungle to look back of my life and kill my anger and fear when I am alone. When I have no one aside I learn how important friends and family I have had so far. thank you @reddust
wish you a better life
Regards