They gave me a 12-hour head start, but that’s not enough when the whole world knows my face. New York? It's gone. Left behind. I definitely needed something more radical, so I came to the most unexpected place possible: the countryside of Minas Gerais, in Brazil — I mean, who would think I’d hide in my own homeland, right?! I hitched a ride with a truck driver who only talked about cheese and… well, here I am, hiding in the mountains of Serra da Mantiqueira.
Goodbye, phone. I chopped off my hair, dyed it green. Started dressing like I was in one of those survivalist TV shows, you know? Now I’m practically invisible.
But the best part was meeting my new friends and loyal companions: the capybaras. Who knew these giant rodents would be the best partners for a getaway? They’re chill, don’t ask questions, and most importantly, they know how to hide like pros. I spend my days blending in with them, eating grass and pretending I’m just another one of the gang.
Want to find me? Good luck, the world’s a big place, and honestly, I think even the capybaras have forgotten who I am!