[Image by geralt on pixabay.com]
Today is Mother’s Day, and in the spirit of consumerism, I guess I’ll make a post about it.
But seriously, I’d like to thank my mother for putting up with and providing for me all these years. There’s a lot of things wrong with the holiday, but the idea of honoring mothers is not one of them.
Every day should be Mother's Day
Today it is Mother's Day in Finland, another one of those manufactured and unnecessary days that are rather meaningless yet, celebrated.
@tarazkp
When I first read this in Taraz’ article. I had to do a double take. At first I thought he was trying to say that mothers don’t deserve praise for the job they do. Nothing I’ve seen him write would make me expect this view from him, but then I stumbled upon a clarification he made in the comments of his post.
If you need a day to remember the importance of mothers, you may not find them so important after all. My wife is important every day.
I was a little relieved, because this view is much more in tune with my own views. Mothers are important, and it’s important to celebrate them and the sacrifices they make whenever the opportunity arises. If you need a holiday to remind you to do this, you probably need to reexamine your values and how you treat your mother. Spending a little time with her isn’t difficult, unless you live far away. But even that is no excuse. We live in the age of technology where everyone is a phone call away.
I’m not the best son, I’ll admit it. I’ve caused more than a fair amount of stress to my mother, whether it was through my rebellious teen years or my constant need to clash with her opinions (even if I actually agree). But I still make an effort to do things that make her happy.
We have traditions together that help keep us close, and even though some of them aren’t my favorite activities, I enjoy them anyways because it’s a way to spend time with her and make her happy. Over the years, I’ve come to enjoy them, though it wasn’t always that way. Before I was a teenager, I enjoyed them, but I hit a rebel phase where I thought I was too cool for my mom. As a side note, nobody is too cool for their mom.
The front of the hardware store
One of the traditions my mom and I have done for as long as I can remember is going to a spring garden sale at a local hardware store. They give away free pancake breakfasts to everyone who attends. Of course, the whole thing is a loss-leader to get people into the store to buy things, but it makes for a fun tradition. We don’t always buy things, because that isn’t the point. The point is to go out together.
Not everything we do is planned. We go out to breakfast or get coffee, or sometimes just go on walks together. You don’t need traditions to have a good relationship.
I suppose I don’t have room to act holier-than-thou over my relationship with my mom, I’m only 18 years old, so I still live with her. That makes things easier. I like to think that things won’t change after I move out, but it’ll require more effort. I’ll see her less regularly, but, since it’s important to me, I’ll make sure to save space for her in my schedule.
The bastardization of the holiday
As with everything, especially things that apply to large populations of people, Mother’s Day has been corrupted by consumerism. Companies like Hallmark use any holiday as a way to guilt people into buying cards. Jewelry companies use them to sell jewelry. Florists use them to sell flowers. And so we’ve grown to link thankfulness and appreciation with gifts.
There’s nothing wrong with giving a gift, but if the gift is a mass produced card or some other store-bought item, the act becomes disingenuous. There is little emotion involved in picking out a card with words that somebody else wrote, or buying a bracelet that somebody else made. An ideal gift should come from the heart, not the pocketbook. It should be something that had time and thought put into it.
That’s not to say that I, or anyone else, don’t appreciate store-bought gifts. We do, or at least I do. But a handmade item or a shared experience always feels more thoughtful. Even if we never use something, it shows care and genuine affection. It shows that we were worth the effort.
The reason we need Mother's Day
[Video by SNL on Youtube]
A while after reading the article I mentioned above, I was catching up on last night’s episode of Saturday Night Live and stumbled upon a Youtube comment that made me once again question my faith in humanity.
I love how they always push the fact like being a Mom is not a choice, infact its more of a choice than being a father
l also love how they push the fact that being a Mom mean you should be praise what? You made the choice to be a parent now you have to deal with the responsibility & hardship that come's with that, the kids shouldn't have to thank you for shit
This time, there was no relief, in fact the commenter further attempted to rationalize their views, but simply came off as an angsty teenager. Maybe I would have said it in the past, and would find it later and regret writing it. Perhaps the original poster will feel the same way years from now.
The idea they were putting forward was basically that because one made a choice, they do not deserve praise for what they do with that choice. Putting aside the fact that some mothers may not have intended to have a child and instead felt morally obligated to carry out the pregnancy after finding out they were pregnant, motherhood is a tough task. At my age, and as a male, I can’t say that from experience, but I can tell by witnessing my own mother at work.
Motherhood isn’t a hobby, it’s a full time job. It isn’t without consequence either. Quite literally, it puts another human’s life in your hands.
When you combine this with another full time job, something that isn’t uncommon, the difficulty and wear on a person multiplies. As rewarding as it is, that makes motherhood all the more commendable. One may get into motherhood for selfish reasons, but I doubt that one can go through the entire process that way. It becomes about the child not about the parent.
Any human service has an element of self sacrifice and reward attached to it. Just because there is a reward involved doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be thankful.
Mother’s Day is just a reminder of the sacrifice and effort that went into shaping us into the humans we are. One day is the least we can do for our mothers. Those who fail to see that are the reason we need this holiday-- to show our moms that everything they did wasn’t a waste of effort and time.