The day started as most days did .... and most days should really, with a healthy dose of liquid bread! Beerman was on day 42 of his beer fast ... "Mornings are for beer and contemplation" he thought to himself. He stood infront of the mirror for a good couple of minutes admiring his gloriously sculpted beer belly in glowing self adoration ...
Yup, life is great ... but beer is greater he thought to himself before turning to his man-cave church of beer to start planning his next brew. He had a couple of ideas in his head, but one stuck out from the rest. Yup, it is time for another barley-wine! His last efforts produced a glorious batch of 14% ABV beer wine but he always felt he could do better. There wasn't quite enough of an oaky woody complexion to the beer profile, and the caramel tones were a little overdone ... Belch!! ... the earth shattering sound interrupted his current train of thought. Nearby, a fly unfortunate enough to be flying nearby was helplessly sputtering to the ground in the wake of the beerman's gaseous outburst... He looked around indifferent for a while and then thought .... under the right circumstances, this could prove to be a useful weapon ....
But, such serious thoughts rarely linger for long in the mind of beerman... as he returned his thoughts to his next batch of beer... Hmmm. 14kg of Pale Malt, 1kg of Vienna Malt, 1.5kg of Caramunich .... 15g of Perle hops ... 15g of Hallertauer. Perhaps some Star Anise and vanilla beans added to the boil ? It was then that he flicked on the telly. Usually he pays no attention to television, it is just background noise. But he heard something that always peaks his interest, the word "Hops". "Hops plantations under threat from mysterious invisible threat!" - the headline went. He fell off his chair with a crash in shock and horror, amazingly though the beer in his hand was perfectly fine - not a drop spilt. No, not Hops! Nature's gift to humankind, the wonder plant, the spice of beer ... Lord, it cannot be true... Oh please let it not be true!
After seemingly several minutes had passed beerman composed himself. And turned to his PC to do some research on this epidemic. It was then that he found several youtube videos by supposed conspiracy theorists, however what they said made SENSE! The theory goes that mysterious alien forces are attacking humanity, and what better way to demoralise humans than by destroying their wonder plant. He stammered back in shock when it hit him, for a brief moment he even was slightly sober.
It was then that he thought of the Masters of the Universe and the African Goddess whom he was incredibly fortunate to have actually met before (or was that a beer induced dream?)... Surely only they can help!! But, how would they believe him ? He would need to prove himself to them first! Once he has won their respect they will surely help him on his quest to save the world from these mysterious forces that are plotting to destroy hops!
He already has an incredibly powerful weapon, and he already has the ability to charm anyone with his incredibly sexily sculpted beer belly... But how would he get to the MOTU in time before their quest? Stammering through his man cave, a little nervous and unsure, he tripped over one of his kegs which went falling with a thud and spouted out in a fountain of beer! The day could not be getting any worse... Sit down he thought to himself, pull yourself together. HAVE A BEER and think!
It didn't take long thereafter when it dawned upon him. He could use the power of fermentation to get around! Yes! Strap some kegs on his back and use it like a sort of beer rocket ?! It may work ? But all that wasted beer ? With a heavy heart though he conceded, sacrifices need to be made for the greater good!
It was with these thoughts that Beerman determined he would be joining up with with the masters of the universe... Strapping his kegs onto his back with a beer in hand he set off on his greatest adventure yet!
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Lol, BRILLIANT stuff Berrman! Not to worry, the excess beer wasted will be worth the journey... The African Goddess is confident in that :):)
Thanks african goddess, I take solace in the fact that all of this is for a worthwhile cause!
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STOPGreat story, but a great waste of beer fuel!!
Thank you! Yup a tragic waste but necessary :(
Welcome beerman! You bring the beer Ill bring the pizza! Kowabunga dude!
Haha, thanks man. Hmmm ... pizza and beer ... I think we set then!
Lol. A beer rocket.
Better get there soon. Updates are coming. Ive been dealing with some laptop technical glitches which has slowed the the MOTU challenge
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