I love movies. Absolutely adore them. I find time to watch at least one movie every day. Any genre. New. Old. It doesn't matter. I love movies.
WARNING: I have absolutely no stake in the following company, but, I am shamelessly promoting them.
A few months ago I enrolled in a movie theater subscription service called "MoviePass."
For the low price of $9.95 per month (which is pretty close to the price of one ticket in most areas), I get to see one standard 2D movie per day. Which is bad news for MoviePass, because, my family and I are solely going to put them out of business! We see a movie as often as possible. I don't know what we'd do without MoviePass.
I have recently had a lot of free time in the evening, so I have been filling that time with trips to the cinema.
However, I have discovered the following old saying to be true... The freaks come out at night. (And they REALLY do)
I will tell you my tale in the form of a story for each my last few viewings.
The Greatest Showman pt1:
My girlfriend and I went to see this musical in the early evening. We see the majority of our movies at an AMC theater that has reserved seating. Which gives you peace of mind in the fact that you know you'll have a good seat, while simultaneously eliminating the option to move a few seats over when you do encounter a suspicious character. All that aside. We both thoroughly enjoyed the film. It had catchy tunes and a 'Hollywoodized'
version of the main character's life. However, there was a gentleman and his partner who showed up halfway through the trailers. This man had one of the deepest toned voices I have ever heard. It was so powerfully deep that his thunderous whispers reverberated off of the walls. He proceeded to repeat nearly every action on screen to his partner, who mind you was not visually impaired nor was she hearing impaired. Yet, that did not stop him from the need to explain to her (and all of us really) that "He's gonna start a circus." The man was sharp as a tac.
The Greatest Showman pt2:
Because we enjoyed it and wanted to see it without a stranger giving us the play by play, my girlfriend and I saw it again. Only this time, with my mom and younger brother. We had the last four seats in a row an I bit the bullet and took the seat towards the middle of the row which was sure to have a stranger sit next to it. A few trailers played as the seat remained empty. Having just seen it at the same theater I knew that this was the final trailer before the film would start. I was about to breathe a sigh of relief when out of the corner of my eye I saw a flicker of light near the hallway to the screen... With the house lights dim I could see only a ghostly figure creep up the stairs. Every step they took I felt my heart begin to sink further down my stomach. Sure enough, they had the seat next to mine, and while I was so focused on this person sitting next to me, I hadn't noticed the shadowy figure just a few steps behind holding copious amounts of buttered popcorn and some kind of homemade snack they had brought in. These figures turned out to be women in their mid 50's I would guess. Who turned out to be equally as vocal as the walking tuba that I encountered in my last viewing. Only they would fully discuss plot points with each other.
Darkest Hour:
I found this particular movie to be a bit of a slow burn, which I had come into the movie expecting. It builds suspense while painting a portrait of one of the most iconic figures in world history. It depicts the political side of one of the what in the hell??!? Is this person really walking into this movie a whole hour and ten minutes into it??? YES, this happened. A person possibly in their forties came strolling in with a whole tray of concessions more than halfway into the movie. This person joined my row by walking about two seats past me, placing their food down, and then standing up to watch the film for about five solid minutes. Despite there being people in the row behind him. The rest of the film this person incessantly giggled at every conclusion of dialog. Whether it was a snarky remark from the Prime Minister or a chilling warning to him. Without skipping a beat, this person would chortle loudly at EVERY LINE. Sure, not the worst that could have happened, but seriously, every line was funny?
Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle:
So, my brother and I go to scratch this nostalgic itch by seeing what was in store for the Jumanji-verse. Surprisingly we both found it to be quite enjoyable. It had some good humor and a decent story. However, we were stuck in idiot surround sound. Over his left shoulder was a couple in their mid-twenties who brought a blanket to cover themselves, and over my right shoulder was another couple who I think came straight from hell, so I'm not quite sure of their age. Ok, that's not fair to say about the lady, because she never spoke a word. It was her partner who I will get back to in a moment. Let's go back to the couple by my brother. The girlfriend was one of those people that has to repeat the punchline of every joke, and then laugh over it whilie shes saying it. So, as I said earlier "surround sound." Because, we would hear everything a second time from the girl by my brother. Who would sometimes pause because he boyfriend would start touching her under the blanket. "How do you know that, Noah?" You say? Well during lower volume parts of the film you could hear the sound that only can be replicated by foreplay or someone mixing cheese into a pot of elbow macaroni. So, perverts aside, I had the creme de la creme of loudmouth creeps on my side. (Yes, he out creeped the people masturbating.) Keep in mind that this man had no disability, so I don't want you to think I'm just being insensitive... He did have a can of beer with him, so obviously was not thinking straight, but didn't slur his speech like someone who was extremely intoxicated. This man had to loudly introduce each actor by screaming their name and cheering them on. Followed by a few of "Oh, I know that guy... He was on.." when he couldn't remember a name. The reason I call him a creep is because of the fowl language and sounds he would use any time Karen Gillan was on screen. In case you don't know who Karen Gillan is here you go:
She may not be absolutely everybody's type. But, she is objectively beautiful and very attractive in this film. (And she kicks some butt in hand to hand combat which makes her even sexier.) All that aside. This man would yell at the top of his lungs "OH, yeah! Karen Gillan. Oh, f*ck yes!" and would grunt and groan as if he was grabbing and rubbing his genitals each close-up of hers. He would moan and tell his female companion that Karen was "So god damn hot!" at one point she has a fight scene which has the song "Baby, I love your way." that plays over it... THE MAN SANG OVER A MINUTE OF THE SONG AS LOUD AS THE MOVIE. He then continued to hum it periodically throughout the rest of the movie. (Between his random hooting and hollering at Karen Gillan of course) Oh! I forgot to mention that he would also repeat jokes just like the girl on the other side of my brother. Bringing the whole idiot surround sound thing full circle.
That's all the complaining I have time for today.
I hope you enjoyed this and I hope you enjoy yourself at the movies. I hope to find better luck with audiences soon.
Well thats all I've got for you now. I just had to vent all of my recent bad luck in
Crazy! Sounds like a great deal.
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I bought into this movie pass thing too I love it
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