COLONIZED BY ELON
A TIMOTHY OSMAN ROMANCE
While farming potatoes on Mars, Timmeh learns he’s pregnant, but who is the father?
He left Earth seven months ago. Seven Earth months that is. Which means that his baby was concieved over there, before he arrived here on Mars to farm potatoes for Pope Elon.
Obviously, the fetus could only be an Earthling. sad. A few million miles of empty space makes a babe into a bastard. The corners of Tim's thin lips turned down. Timmeh suspected the father might be John le Bon, but after resarching pregnancy concludes that there is no way he could have a baby out of his mouth.
Meanwhile, since Martian days are slower and gravity is stronger, his pregnancy was dragging on into a full Earth year---during which time he learns to crochet and knits cloth diapers, practicing basic mothering skills on potatoes.
Finishing his portion of cold potato soup, Timmeh sighed at the sound of the alarm blaring over over the dining room PA and slowly made his way to the office.
“His majesty Elon will not be happy” snarled the chief potato harvester as he looked at the crews disappointing yield. Timmeh rubbed his ankles together in excitement -maybe this time his majesty will visit the farm himself, Elon had not graced Farming Sector 5 in some time....
Elon's regular visits stopped shortly after he learned of Timmehs pregnancy. What if Elon was the father? The hopeful thought briefly distracted Tiimmeh as he started to service the chief.
The Martian Pope had always been rather fond of Timmeh but what a controversy it would stir among the farming community if that rumor were to spread, true or not. Timmeh sighed. He supposed he could always get a sex change and move to the moon. Lots of work there setting up cell phone towers.
....SO WILL ELON MAN UP AND WIFE TIMMEH? OR WILL HE LEAVE TIMMEH TO FARM POTATOES WITH THE OTHER SERFS, AND ALLOW HIS OWN SON TO GROW UP A POTATOE FARMER? SUBSCRIBE TO READ PART 2 of "COLONIZED BY ELON"
(TO BE CONTINUED )
brilliant
Laughing after very first sentence.. cracking the fuck up only after the 2nd. AWESOME!!! Screw 5 Stars ... Y'all get 33 Stars !!!