When you learn to love yourself,
You may be called ‘narcissistic’ when you say as much.
When you learn to trust your judgment,
You may be called ‘judgmental’ when you make an assessment about something.
When you learn a lot about a subject,
You may be called ‘know-it-all’ when explaining it to others.
When you defend your knowledge,
You may be called ‘defensive’ for doing so.
When you refrain from defensiveness and learn to walk away,
You may be considered as giving up-
When you give up on trying to prove yourself,
You may find life becoming easier.
When you find life becoming easier,
You may realize that it is because you have stopped trying to prove yourself, defend yourself, or convincing others. You may find you know enough to know better, and see that is good enough You may learn that self-love means self-loathing at times, that every great moment we have is defined by a lesser moment, one we can use as a contrast to see what we believe is ‘good’ and ‘bad’. You may realize that these are subjective points, and see how many of our ancestors through history suffered horrible fates and lives not because of what they did- but because of what they thought, and tried to prove to others.
You may at a point see that there is a certain degree of love and hate, happiness and sadness, feast and famine, and alas….life and death. While they may seem to be black and white, dead or alive, we can indeed die inside long before our years have expired.
More often than not, our inner turmoil is caused by trying to prove to others, OR ourselves, what we do not know for sure. Other times it is caused by our failure to listen to our inner voice, and judge a situation. Whether it be a belief or a method of living, people are always pushing their subjective views on others…and we are not obligated to listen or care. We really aren’t! One who expects others to listen should lead by example, but even then one idea will never work for all people. Find your niche.
It may also be caused by the way we perceive that others may see us, even when we are dramatically mistaken. Self-image is a deep seated fear in mankind; to be worthy is to be loved…or so we tell ourselves.
Selfishness is not a sin, or a fault- it is the default mode of operations to survive in this world. It is up to us to see where we can help others, and it can ONLY come from within. Nobody can guilt you into giving more than you are able, and far too many people give themselves up completely to the will of others. We wish to please, and it can cause us much grief if we do not take care of ourselves first- But most importantly, to find love and happiness wherever we can, and embrace it like a life preserver in an ocean storm. Hold on for dear life, but eventually, we have to let go. While we are here however, we should take it all in, not resist something merely because we do not want to believe it; express how we feel, speak when we feel it is important. We have to educate ourselves as best we can, without assuming knowledge is what created wisdom. Only experience can bring a person to the place where they understand who they are, and even then we are often barely scratching the surface.
All I can know is me. And considering how well I thought I knew myself, I think the work is never done as long as we are honest with ourselves. To me that means sometimes we WILL judge, sometimes we WILL be selfish, sometimes we WILL get defensive, yet as long as we can laugh at ourselves afterward and review our actions honestly, we will all do just fine.
The key to success is found within the deep caverns of the mind, never in the material world. But it is not something that needs to be learned, only uncovered and dusted off. Being. Just being who we are.
Much love to all, except those who are assholes. You can get your love from someone else!
-Carpo
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