My heart is aching tonight for a young life lost way too soon.
A sweet and gentle soul who was too fragile to take the knocks of life.
Angie made many attempts on her life, twice nearly got it right, but this time succeeded.
Today is World Mental Health Day with the focus on suicide prevention.
Last year for the second time in my life, suicide took the life of someone very close. My brother at the age of 26 many many moons ago, and then my son’s best friend Angie, a beautiful young girl, inside and outside!
Suicide leaves many agonizing questions that never ever get answered; guilt as you feel you could have done more; what drove your loved one over the edge; what was going on inside of him/her?
Looking back, I should have seen the warning signs – they suddenly become almost happy and carefree and start giving away things dear to them; and then the mood changes to one of anger as they try and distance themselves from those closest to them!
Following my brother’s suicide, I went through a severe clinical depression which put me in the deepest darkest pits of despair for many years.
I managed to conquer this horrid misunderstood mental illness that many are ashamed to talk about, and shared my journey on Terminal Depression – Be a Survivor here on Steemit some two years ago, and then again last year How I regained and maintain my mental health.
If you know someone or are going depression yourself, please take a peek at both those posts.
I will share with you my Ten steps to regaining and maintaining good mental health – we need good tools to conquer this.
- 1 - Balance -it is of paramount importance to keep the balance between work and leisure to keep stress levels down; try to find your own quiet spot and take short breaks when you feel overwhelmed.
Stop, breathe slowly and deeply throughout the day - remember the saying - stop and smell the roses!
- 2 - Sanctuary - Make your own little sanctuary at home, whether it's a room in your house, the garden or balcony; wherever that may be. This should be your little haven where you can go when you need a break. The best place would be your bedroom as a good night's rest is beneficial for healing - insomnia being the enemy.
- 3 - Verbalise your feelings - talk to someone close to you about how you're feeling and make use of all your support systems - be it family, a friend, a work colleague or a spiritual leader ; someone you can trust.
In fact, we all need to talk openly about mental illness to put an end to the stigmas around it. I find it ludicrous that people are not afraid to talk about their blood pressure or diabetes, yet are almost ashamed of admitting they have depression!
- 4 - Find a good holistic healer and counselor - do not think simply popping a pill will get you back on the road to recovery - it takes hard work but it is so worth it!
Always remember to take baby steps and also take things day by day. It is impossible for anyone to think they can solve their whole life's problems in one day!
I was very fortunate in finding an excellent homeopath who counselled as well as gave me homeopathic medication - this wise lady really was a lifesaver!
Should your condition be more acute, I believe it is vital to see a conventional specialist psychiatrist as you may need to go the chemical route but always bearing in mind that just popping a pill is not the cure-all!
- 5 - Diet - A healthy well-balanced diet with plenty of fresh vegetables and fruit is vital as we need to take care of our physical well-being to enable us to fight any mental illness.
- 6 - Supplements - there are many natural supplements on the market that assist in balancing brain chemistry. I took Evening Primrose Oil, Omega 3, Vitamin B, 5-HTP. Ensure you get enough Vitamin D by getting enough sunshine, or take the supplement.
The herbal anti-depressant St John's Wort also works well.
But as always, check with your health practitioner before taking anything.
- 7 - Exercise and correct breathing very important - walking and yoga top of my list but any other form of exercise is great for getting the endorphins going! I know it's hard to motivate yourself, but this is a vital part of your road to healing.
- 8 - Hobbies - You likely feel like doing nothing but think of the things you used to enjoy - I love cooking & baking as well as gardening; when I get stuck into these things, I become more focused and forget just how bad I was feeling.
This is where Steemit helped me - I thoroughly enjoy the cooking challenges and the interaction between the Steemit chefs :)
- 9 - Leisure times - feed your soul!
Music is my best therapy! Theatre or even going to the movies helps me forget about all my troubles even if it is just for that one evening; short breakaways even if it's just a day at the beach or in the park, really is like recharging one's batteries!
- 10 - Meditation - Last but not least, in fact the most important tool I discovered!
I shared the following about how meditation finally helped me heal in that post a while back:
Meditation has many positive benefits:
Brain waves become calmer, and as your brain is the control centre of your body, healing starts to take place.
Your blood pressure will normalise, in fact it starts improving after the first meditation session.
Helps restoring you back to health if suffering from PTSD and Depression.
There's evidence that it can prevent the dreaded Alzheimer's Disease, plus tons of other medical conditions.
Good things will come your way as your new state of mind affects your immediate environment.
This is the most natural form of relaxation, costs nothing except 15 minutes minimum out of your day, you can do it in any quiet space; this certainly is the biggest gift you can give yourself!
A wonderful friend that I met here on Steemit is the author @ericvancewalton who wrote a fabulous book on Meditation - The Perfect Pause - have a look at his blog and order a copy - life changing for sure!
Original Content by @lizelle
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I'm so sorry to hear about your son's friend. Suicide is so horrendous, as is the depression that sometimes triggers it. I love the points you make about this, and the beautiful flower photos. I've been seriously depressed - years ago, thankfully - and one thing I've learned is that every state of depression is different. That's why it's so difficult to help someone who's really depressed. They can't see that it's a temporary state of mind.
When I was doing my Mountain Leader Assessment, one of the Assessors had been a member of his local Mountain Rescue Team, and he had a lovely dog who had also been part of the team. He told me about an occasion when his dog had been sent out to find a woman who had left her home in a suicidal state of mind. It took the dog less than an hour to find the woman, and her life was saved.
A few weeks later, this man received a letter from the woman, thanking him and his dog for saving her life. She said that her partner had been ill for years and she had been worn out caring for him. When he eventually died, she just went to pieces, all the exhaustion hitting her at once, and she suddenly couldn't see any reason to live. After being rescued, she came into a more rational frame of mind and realised that she had a lot to live for. I think Buddhists say that it's just a negative state of mind passing through.
What a lovely story of survival, thank you for sharing this @natubat! Very good point, it's so difficult for the person going through depression to realize that it's only a temporary state of mind; I know when I was at my lowest, I really thought that I'd never come out of it! Glad you also overcame this horrid illness.
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What a powerful and important post! I'm so sorry about Angie and your brother, @lizelle.
Depression runs deep on my father's side of the family. In some of our genealogical work we discovered suicide was listed as the cause of death on my paternal grandfather's death certificate. Most of the family thought he died of cancer. He passed away long before I was born, in the early 1940's.
I feel like there are so many among us who struggle secretly and quietly. The more people who talk about it and get it into the open, the better.
I never knew that meditation has been proven to prevent Alzheimer's disease! I'll have to let my mother know that. Maybe we can get my father into a class.
Thanks so much for your post!
I find it so sad to think how many people suffered in silence especially in days gone by, so sad about your grandfather! At least nowadays there's more treatments options and talk about mental illness, although the stigma remains! It beats me that people accept illnesses like diabetes but think depression is something the sufferer can control!
I've also wondered whether meditation would have any effect once the person has started with Alzheimer's, worthwhile looking into it as it may just slow the degeneration down?
Thank you for your valued input and kind words @ericvancewalton!
Yes, it sure is sad that people felt as though they had no one to talk to. Thankfully my dad still has a few memories of him and his older brother (my dad's uncle) became like a surrogate father to my dad. My brother and I grew up with him in our lives as well. He chewed Redman chewing tobacco, listened to baseball on his console radio, and wore a flat cap. Spending time with him was like traveling back to the 1920's. I'll have to look more into meditation for Alzheimer's. I'm traveling down for my father's 80th birthday in late November and will have to teach him some techniques if I find any that look helpful. Thank you!
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I'm so sorry that this happened to your heart <3
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