In a blind date, help the child find the parents of the "other half". Visual China Mapping
This time, the protagonist finally appeared.
Chen Ming, a 29-year-old pseudonym, entered the door behind a slightly fat middle-aged woman and sat dodgingly. Yang Yanqin, the Red Niang, looked up and down at him and joked, "This time, the young man can come to find his partner in person!"
Yang Yanqin, 57, is a famous volunteer Hongniang in Tianjin. When she was young, she was enthusiastic about bridging others. After retirement, she simply set up "Yang Jie Hongniang Station" and organized a blind date with a group of volunteers. "Now she has become more than 400 couples!"
Over the past two years, Chen Ming's mother asked Yang Yanqin for information about seven or eight girls. "I think the conditions are good, but none of them succeeded!" Yang Yanqin was puzzled and asked to meet the boy directly.
"What are you looking for?" Yang Yanqin asked.
"Mom, what do I want?" Chen Ming turned her head to the middle-aged woman next to her. The mother straightened herself up immediately, took the conversation, and talked a lot. "I know what he thinks. He wants..." Chen Ming stopped talking.
"The days are getting better and better, but there are more and more people who can't find the object." Yang Yanqin noticed that in recent years, the differences between the two generations in the dating market have increased, showing two extreme phenomena: either the young people have special opinions and can not be controlled by their unmarried parents at all; or they are totally controlled by their parents and have no opinions at all. Muddled away.
Marlboro Man flies away after 20 more days of marriage
Song Xiaoyu's marriage lasted only 20 days.
"Despite his early 30s this year, he's just like a kid." Yang Yanqin has seen this family. Both parents are businessmen. Mother is very strong. When she comes to Hongniang Station, she tells Yang Yanqin, "Our house, car and lottery gifts are all ready, so you should introduce a good girl to us."
Mother was busy, but Song Xiaoyu himself was the last member of the family to care about marriage. After graduating from college, he got a stable job under the arrangement of his family, and went home from work to play games. In his mother's words, "When the fruit is cut and put in front of you, you don't know how to eat it!"
Yang Yanqin is always willing to talk directly with young people. She has communicated with them several times. She finds that Song Xiaoyu is somewhat conflicted with marriage and even has some fears. The reason is very simple: when they get married in the future, they have to cook, clean up their house and arrange everything by themselves. "If you think about it, worry!"
Looking at her son's passing age, her mother was anxious. She denied Song Xiaoyu's idea that she didn't want to get married. "If you have children, let your mother bring you!" She accompanied her son to meet several girls, including a gentle and virtuous girl, "Family can be, undergraduate, stable work, very good!"
With everything in order, she sent her daughter a 100,000 yuan lottery gift and satisfactorily pushed her son through the marriage door.
To everyone's surprise, 20 days later, the couple left and could not say anything together. Six months later, Song Xiaoyu's mother said that her son agreed to come with her to Yang Yanqin to see if it was appropriate.
Just said two or three words, mother and son quarreled in front of Yang Yanqin. Mother complained that her son was too disgraceful to flash away. "20 days later, he left, blind 100,000 yuan lottery gift." The son went back on the spot and said, "Who told you that you had to let me get married? What's a 100,000 yuan lottery? Can't my father earn it again?'
Yang Yanqin laments that the 30-year-old is still "weanling like". She found that many of the boys who lingered in the matchmaking market for a long time were "marlboros" - indecisive and immature; she thought that one of the important reasons behind this was that parents were too much in charge!
Knowing that some netizens equate "Mabao man" with "slag man who splits legs indefinitely" as the most unmarried type, and the existence of "Mabao man" is one of the important reasons leading to the breakdown of marriage.
After seeing many divisions and closures, Yang Yanqin often gives parents "lessons", "You never let go, how do children grow up?" Most of the time, she advised people not to rush to get married. "If a child is immature, don't let him get married."
Professor of the Institute of Population and Development, Nankai University, who has been engaged in demographic research for more than 30 years, believes that there are many reasons leading to the phenomenon of "Mabao Male", which is also related to the fact that some families place more emphasis on boys than girls. "There is still a phenomenon of excessive concern and care for boys in society, and they are brought up in arms and become giant babies."
The more developed the economy, the later the young people mature.
Ma Botao himself can't figure out how many times he's been married. In two years, he'll be 40 years old.
Before his parents retired, they were the leaders of the unit. There were several large houses in his family. He had a good job. He also ran a small company with his friends, which many people regarded as the "golden leftover man".
He once had a girlfriend who had been in love for four years, and he still thinks that's his favorite girl. The girl is white and thin. She likes to chat with him about poetry and the distance. They are eager to love each other for a lifetime. After Ma Botao met her parents with her beloved girl, her mother began to inquire about the girl. She heard that the girl's mother had breast cancer and locked her eyebrows. "The child gets sick when he's a bit windy. It seems that the hereditary gene is not very good."
Mother asked a cousin who worked in the hospital to take her son's girlfriend to the hospital for a general examination, and found that there was a small nodule in the lungs. At present, there is no abnormality. It is suggested to observe.
This makes the mother like a big enemy, "This is the time bomb, maybe one day it will explode!" She persuaded her son, and finally made it clear that she had to break up with the girl. Her idea is: "My son is so excellent, our family conditions are good, but also worry about not finding a healthy girl? Should I find a sick seedling, my son would not suffer with it all his life?
That breakup depressed Ma Botao for a long time. Later, he talked about a girlfriend who broke up with him because he could not bear to listen to his mother. Later, he was in the relative market ups and downs, meeting for a meal and chatting seemed to become a routine, "it seems that I can no longer find the original feeling." However, he himself is not so eager for marriage, "anyway, he is not mature enough."
According to Yuan Xin, young people's late maturity is a common phenomenon. "It's said that poor children are in charge of their families early, and that's true."
A sample survey of young people around the world by foreign scholars has found that the more developed a place is, the richer the society is, the later the young people grow up in this place.
In China, the late maturity of young people is closely related to the ways and concepts of the previous generation. According to Yuan Xin, this is related to the changes of family structure in China since the reform and opening up.
In the first year of reform and opening-up in 1978, the per capita disposable income of Chinese cities was 334 yuan per year. In the countryside, this figure only accounted for one third of the city's total income. The results.
For the younger generation, the post-80s generation has also experienced a period of material shortage slightly. The post-90s generation grew up almost in the honeypot, and more and more only children are born.
That is to say, the fathers and generations deeply appreciate the taste of poverty and suffering, and after the great changes in reform and opening up, the material conditions have greatly improved, many parents have a concept in their hearts that the suffering we have suffered can no longer be eaten by children!
"Little do you know, if you don't suffer hardship, you will not grow up. Parents have arranged everything. Children are all in one, and their ability and consciousness of feeding back is very weak." This is a very common example: every year freshmen enter the university, and all kinds of hotels and hotels around the university are full of parents who send their children. There are always college students who express their dirty clothes home, let their parents wash them and send them back.
"Whether the economic conditions are good or bad, parents are not at ease, because although the children are 18 years old, they are far from growing up." According to the original new idea, this concept will continue until the children graduate, work and marry. The children mature late, and the natural marriage has been repeatedly postponed.
Some young people no longer feed their families back.
Young people grow up and mature later and later. The other side of this phenomenon is that tolerance, respect, tolerance and understanding between people are becoming less and less. "The independence of the only child is becoming more and more obvious."
Yang Yifan (pseudonym), born in 1992, graduated as a graduate student. He is 1.82 metres tall. He works in a university with good manners. There were several girls who liked him, but they did not meet the requirements of their parents: first, they should find a local girl, preferably working in a university, civil servants, and their parents should also be intellectuals working in a university or a government department, so that they could have the same views.
Yang Yifan still wants to find a beautiful person in his heart. He feels it is very important to have common hobbies and topics with himself. But his mother thought he was too naive. Mother's reason is very realistic: find local people to live next to their parents in the future, you can go back to their parents every day to eat, give birth to a child with parents to help you, even property fees, water and electricity charges are paid to you, you need not worry about anything.
Wang Jianbin and his colleagues in the Youth Development and Rights Protection Department of the Tianjin Municipal Committee of the Youth League had to face some anxious parents before each youth dating event. Some parents called and said for more than an hour, "I've broken my heart for him to find someone. Why is he not worried at all?"
Originally Xin believed that the difference of this concept also originated from the changes of the times. Young people's parents, in their youth, almost all early in the family, to find ways to work, in order to maintain the livelihood of a large population, "but now young people, do not need to feed the family, only consider themselves."
This generation of young people took the express train of China's rapid economic development. "The quality of life has improved so rapidly, especially in urban families, that children's economic responsibility for their families has been completely relieved." A few years ago, "gnawing old" was still a controversial topic, but now, it is almost a consensus that the post-90s can not afford to buy a house on their own wages.
At the same time, the definition of marriage and family in the whole society is also changing. When your father was young, you had to get married first. Only when two people could live together can someone bear the pressure of life with you. Therefore, they value marriage more and more.
But now the concept is changing, many young people can nibble at home if they can't find a job. Parents are raising their children for a long time, which makes some young people unwilling to marry and afraid of taking responsibility. Instead, they choose to live together without marrying, or evade to push back the marriage again and again. They pay more attention to their personal life experience and seldom care about other people's feelings. This individualistic "uniqueness" consciousness is intertwined with the prolongation of their growth period, which causes the phenomenon that young people are afraid of marriage, late marriage or even unmarried.
"From all perspectives, parents should let go early, cultivate their children's ability to survive independently, and encourage them to take the initiative to shoulder their responsibilities." According to Yuan Xin, over-arranged love will weaken the future competitiveness of the younger generation, and even affect their lifetime development.
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