I do not disagree that government and nefarious persons could misuse FR tech to abuse the public. The problem is that government has it now. It's not a theoretical future asset. Last month a guy in England was fined $90 for covering his face when police tried to use FR to identify him (or whatever kind of monopoly money they use in foreign lands). That cat is out of the bag. All the concerns you have about government misusing this are valid.
They are already happening.
What is happening now is that individual private civilians like you and I are now able to use this technology too. Where before government had more power because they could use it on us, yet they could hide their badge and commit crimes without being identifiable, now they cannot do that anymore unless they cover their face too. Covering their faces makes them look like they're going to commit a crime, and at least people will spot them in the act. If they set up a cross on your lawn and your home security cameras catch them in the act, they can be identified without their KKK hoods. If stalkers lurk outside your house, your FR software can spot them because the same face is lurking outside your house, even if you personally don't spot them. You don't have to be a vigilante to be safe from them. You can just be forewarned they are out there, and not go out there where you could be hurt by them until after you have called a friend to come and escort you, or police to ask them why they're out there. That's not vigilante RWDS's. That's just being forewarned of danger and being able to avoid it.
Burglars, robbers, rapists, etc. all can be identified, or at least their faces known, if they are caught on camera. If the public then share identifiable images of perps via social media, the next time that perp shows their face to a FR enabled civilian camera, the potential victims can be safe from their criminal acts because their FR system can alert them to the criminal. Given your personal dilemma - which was not caused by FR tech - lurkers can be prevented from causing your family problems by being identified if they are hanging around outside your home, and since you are experiencing a problem with stalking this is an ideal solution to that potential problem for your family.
Whether or not we like it doesn't even matter. There's no way we could pry this out of the government's hands, although I do note that only recently recommendations are being made that government use should be limited, and I certainly agree that it should be. There is no reason that our whereabouts should be tracked without some probable cause, and it is certain that covert and overt agencies are doing this just because they can. But there's no way to put this genie back in the bottle. The tech exists, and government has it now.
They're going to have it. Since that is the case, we should have it too, and when civilians have it, civilians have the power to prevent crime by ordinary criminals, as well as hold government agents accountable for criminal acts, and even prevent covert actors from planting bugs, combing through trash, or other surveillance activities like cross burning that RWDS's might commit. This dramatically improves the security of free people in the grip of tyrannical government for many reasons.
We should limit government's use of it, without a doubt. We should also have it to make sure criminals and government are caught when they try to commit crimes. We're going to have it too. Since that increases the power and security of private civilians, that's a good thing in many ways, and particularly for your family. Bad actors will use it in bad ways, just like muggers in England misuse pointy sticks. That doesn't mean the Bobbies should seize pointy sticks from people in England as they are doing today. It means that people with FR tech whose private cameras identify people misusing pointy sticks can stop them from committing muggings, and be safer on the street. FR tech can prevent you from being mugged by a perp by alerting you to the perp before you could avoid walking towards them and coming within range once that face has been made available to you by concerned citizens via social media.
It doesn't matter if we like it or not, just as it doesn't matter if we like mornings or not. Physics make it possible, and we should take advantage of the benefits of it to the degree possible, while doing what we can to prevent misuse of it. I completely agree that we should undertake to prevent people from misusing it by setting reasonable rules.
But we can't make the sun stop shining, and we should not try. Sometimes you have to wake up and smell the coffee, and face the bright glare of reality even if you want to roll over and hide in bed. In the long run, it is a good thing for private civilians to have the same power to identify bad actors that government already has. It is a good thing to check the power of government to misuse FR to make us afraid, and we should do so, as well as limit the ability of stalkers and the like to misuse it privately. We should do that, and I am confident we will. But we should also use it to keep our families safe, and particularly where the threat of stalkers is elevated, FR tech is extremely useful and beneficial to our security.
I hope you are able to benefit from this far more than it might harm you. I can't prevent it from existing, and neither can you, anyone, nor even all of us. What we can do is limit misuse, and take advantage of the benefits it can provide, and that's what we should do.