Great post @kiwideb. Thanks for sharing! Although many of my dishes are paleo, I could not survive on a paleo diet (too much meat for my animal heart), like you mentioned it is all about finding your own balance and what is possible for you. Was just wondering, probably I have learned this in one of the nutrition course I took but kinda forgot, what's the issues with legumes. I get the grains, especially the highly processed ones or the ones with gluten. We often eat chickpeas, lentils, beans to meet our protein need on days we don't eat meat or fish.
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The Paleo theory is that grains, legumes and dairy are all recent foods that our ancestors didn't eat. Some people have adapted better than others and they can eat raw dairy, properly prepared legumes or properly prepared grains, for example.
So as long as the legumes you eat are soaked well in advance and then cooked in fresh water, and you don't have problems digesting them, I would still consider them Real Foods. I have a chart that I made up comparing some different real food diets. That might be a useful post to share too.
The main issue with legumes is the high carbohydrate percentage in most of them (>50% carbs). Generally we as humans are getting way too many carbohydrates in our diet and this leads to inflammation and hyperinsulinemia. It's why things like wheat, sugars and starches are removed from paleo.
That said, legumes are a great source of iron and protein, so if you can fit legumes into your diet calorically and macronutritionally, and they don't cause you intestinal issues, then there's no reason not to eat them in controlled portion sizes.
An alternative style of eating, which is paleo-adjacent is known as LCHF.
Generally it's harder to do LCHF style as a lacto-ovo vegetarian (you need to consume eggs, cheese, butter, etc as part of your diet to offset the reduction in legumes), and almost impossible to do it as a vegan (at least not without nutritional supplements).
If you are actually lacto-ovo or just meat averse, then it's completely possible to follow a nutritionally complete LCHF style eating plan, with a minimum of meat consumption. We are LCHF in our household, and often have completely meat-free meals.