haha yea i did that dude on purpose because I kinda dislike being called dude, but it seemed to fit the casual insult mood. its a love hate word. words are lurky spells that cast influence that are - exactly - tricky slippery slopes. Throw in ESL people, different cultures - tis a malestrom.
It amazes me how people who dont know me well assume I'm a guy. then stop talking to me the same way after I tell them I'm a woman. Like they cant identify with me anymore. shrug.
Ive had a few guys scoff at my opinion, literally say to me, :"well you're just a woman", as if that explained everything. I understand that its cultural most times, but it still floors me that this attitude persists. Calling them on it is trickier because they dont accept my authority to do so.
On top of it we are fighting the backlash against people that get offended at the stupidest things.
I wrote this more for the people that I care about, who I realize just dont think about the words they use, or who are so stuck in their patterns that they dont understand that just because they didnt mean to offend doesnt mean that what they said isnt offensive.
And I'm also battling my own sex that casually accept the language that belittles them. They accept that status quo and dont understand why I make a big deal about it. For instance when I was 16, I loved it that my bf refered to me as wench. I thought it was funny. yet when I was older, and a little wiser, another bf didnt understand why I objected to him calling me "puta" as an endearment - none of his past gfs minded. or never said they did. culture and context.
Mostly I think people dont understand how words are perceived by outsiders, how they latch on to the fact that if a guy I know calls me a bitch and I allow it, that its ok for a guy to call any woman a bitch. they dont understand the context of humor or situation, or that maybe women do mind but are afraid to speak up. I want to give everyone that freedom to say something, and think about whats ok to say in a multicultural setting.
I think silence and passive acceptance sends the wrong message, and the only way to fight it is to educate people about what they are passively condoning.