Baby Bird Parenting

in #parenting3 years ago

My son coined the term "baby bird parenting" while teaching small children to ski at Schweitzer Mountain last winter.

Baby_bird_1.jpg
This is my youngest son learning to ski at about age 9. The children my older son taught as a ski instructor were much younger, between 18 months and 4 years.

His method consisted of three parts.

  • One, an absolutely refusal to accept whining or excuses. (Faith and trust in the child)
  • Two, rapidly teaching the child the skills so he or she had the confidence to do it on his or her own. (Empowerment)
  • Three, praise and support when the child succeeded or was struggling. (Emotional support)

His method was successful on the ski mountain because the kids felt empowered by someone who refused to coddle them, they did hard stuff they didn't think they could do, and they were successful, breeding real confidence.

He called it baby bird parenting because when baby birds are ready to leave their nest, their parents shove them out and, voila, they learn to fly. He learned the method from me, his mother.

Two Sorts of Modern Parents

Modern parenting consists of either abusive and neglectful parents (lower classes and upper classes) or hovering, helicopter parents (middle classes). Both of these styles are horrible, and stupid, and destructive for children, leaving effects that last through adulthood and are perpetuated into the next generation.

Parenting Correctly

Proper parenting consists of emotional support and love coupled with confidence in a child's abilities. Exactly the way birds parent. Diligently provide for them, nurture them, feed them, protect them, and then when they are ready, shove them out of the nest so they can fly.


Image from Wikimedia, CC by SA 2.0, by Tony Alter.

The shoving portion happens once in a bird's life, but over and over in the growth of a human. You shove them the first time they learn to cut safely with a sharp kitchen knife (preschool years, people). You shove them again when they learn to cook on a hot stove (kindergarten), cut down a small tree with a sharp axe (1st grade), drive a 4-wheeler, tractor, or yard mower (2nd grade), use the internet freely without supervision (3rd grade) . . . and so on.

Kids who do real things and are trusted by their parents to be safe and make good decisions will be confident, capable people. When the parent pairs empowerment with emotional support, that's a well adjusted child and a confident comfortable future adult.