(Photo was taken from http://the-post-bar.blogspot.com/2012/01/abandoned-city.html?m=1)
It had been a struggling two months, feels like you were forced to live through and escape an abandoned city and even worse when the person that you trusted the most left you alone to go through it. I didn't even believe I could make it alive till this day. Alive but full of scars and cuts. The scars that will remind me forever on how I got it, and the pain that associate with it.
There was no doubt I had many time stop and sit in the middle that abandoned city, ponder why had I taken this route in the first place. Felt like wanted to make a u-turn but as I look back I had traveled far enough and I can't afford to start all over again. So many people had I promised and given hope including myself. Turning back was definitely not an option.
The highlight of all the pain from that journey will be the very moment the person that you cared and trusted the most decided to end that journey with you. Felt like part of your body were ripped apart and what's left was the other part that you had to drag to the finish line. While you were dragging, mixed emotions of anger, anxiety, sad, confuse and remorse were like salts sprinkle on wounds. Then gradually that emotion transition to acceptance.
As you stop by to rest your head at night, the image and memories kept replaying like an automatic recorder in your head and into your dream. Never a day you woke up feeling refresh and pump. You just wish that you could either die in your sleep or the day hasn't come at all.
My human limits were tested every step I take, every time I thought I was so close to getting out of the city, the more shits threw at me. What makes me hang on? What could possibly drive my leg to move? What is it inside of me that just nonstop shout me off my sleep? Why should I go through this? Could we just be selfish, make life simple and call it a quit? Just make it easy. Just live within that city and settle down? I don't know... Let me know if you had your own abandoned city.
Posted using Partiko Android
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