This is my story, this is my song

The word of the Lord came to me, saying, "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations." "Ah, Sovereign Lord," I said, "I do not know how to speak; I am only a child." But the Lord said to me, "Do not say, 'I am only a child.' You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you," declares the Lord. Then the Lord reached out his hand and touched my mouth and said to me, "Now, I have put my words in your mouth. See, today I appoint you over nations and kingdoms to uproot and tear down, to destroy and overthrow, and to build and to plant" (Jer 1:4-10).

1 Cor 1: 28. Prophets are commissioned, sent by royal command. Prophets are ambassadors, speaking and acting on behalf of a peculiar nation not belonging to this world. They are seldom welcomed, at least not by the undisciplined, disobedient crowd. He is certainly recognised, but rarely accepted. To label him a recognised prophet is to disarm him and lock him into the system that he is sent to confront (Lars Widerburg - The Forthtellers).

Calling comes from God, but it will also be confirmed and encouraged by other Christians. A calling that is not recognized by other Christians is often self-appointed and not a true calling.

Marks of a Prophet:
-zeal for God's will.
-foresight into God's plan.
-insight into God's plan.

Call is confirmed by preparation. Those whom God calls are also prepared by God. There is often a long time gap between God's calling and entry into ministry. This calls for patience. Preparation may take a lot longer than we expect, but God's standards are high.

After every calling and envisioning comes a time of death and burial. It is called preparation, as the Lord puts our call on the shelf and deals with who we are as people. During this "in the ground" time, the reality of the call leaves us for a time. Therefore, when suddenly someone begins to restate our call prophetically, it may be the time when the Lord is opening doors and making things happen (Graeme Cooke Developing your Prophetic Ministry p. 202).

Those with a prophetic calling must be prepared to pay the price. It is not just at the end, but all throughout in a special experience in humiliation and self-deprivation, which is uniquely known to prophets (Art Katz The Heart of a Prophet).

Young prophets should be careful about sharing the words of confirmation that the Lord has given about their calling to the prophetic ministry. Most people will see this as boasting. They should only share these words with those who are close and who will understand them. The Lord gives these words to encourage the prophet, not to authenticate their ministry.

Prophetic people should avoid saying, "I am a Prophet", as it makes them sound arrogant. If you are a prophet, God will authenticate your ministry by fulfilling your words, as he did with Samuel (1 Sam 3).. It is better to wait and let the people say, "He is a prophet", because they see your words are witnessed and fulfilled by the Holy Spirit.

Gen 49:8-9: The Lion of Judah, a strong fighter against the enemy.

Yesterday was the last day of the Upper Room Conference 2018. As Todd White was calling people to the altar, I felt great annoyance as my attitude shifted. There was no reason for this shift either, at least none that was apparent to me. As the volunteer merch team was preparing to disperse, I received a message from roommate about how she's observed me making unwise financial decisions (this is very true, and the Lord is doing a complete overhaul of my finances), I'm messy (also true; I'm working a lot of OT which makes it difficult for me to find the time to clean and organize daily), and she wants things back in order. Instead of September 1st being the original move-out date, she found it okay to give me until the end of June.

When I read this, my heart jumped into my throat and the spirit of anxiety choked me. I found someone to talk it over with and who prayed for me. She then advised me to head back into the sanctuary at Christ for the Nations Institute to break any and all contractual agreements, ask for forgiveness from the Lord, and I'm sure other things that I was too far far gone to remember. After that I still felt attacked, miserable and that it would just be easier to give up. I went upstairs to the volunteer room and started to play the piano to my Father and fight off the spirit of death. I had the urge to self-harm or to just simply go take the rest of the bottle of Tramadol that was in my car (left over after I was healed from chronic pain at Power & Love the month before).

I knew that I would gravely injure myself somehow if I even left the parking lot so I sat down at a picnic table and began to cry and speak to my Lord.

A friend just reached out to me on Facebook:
S: Hey Courtnney
Me: hi!
S: I just wanted to say that you have come a long way for love and happiness and you shall receive it one day. You're beautiful! He will provide for you every step of your path. Just continue on your evolution! I love to see people grow. It's beautiful. I admire you. Stay awesome! You may lose people on the way, you will find the right people. ❤

Wow. Thank you, King Jesus!