Are you by any chance familiar with Anthony Magnabosco?
No, but a quick google search leads me to believe that I'd very much like him. I have zero qualms with atheism other than I hold a strong conviction that spiritual atheism is better for humanity in the long run than materialist reductionism which has turned humanity in objects of financial exploitation for the capitalist machine. Something skeptics and atheists wrongly dismiss as irrelevant.
On your post in general: I think it matters very much that humanity goes through the ardent struggle of separating truth from falseness. The best faculties we have for that is using logic and reason honestly.
I don't care about my cultural attachments and I've been relentless in trying to disentangle my thoughts from my ego's desires and for what I'd personally wish to be true.
All I'm saying in regards to western theism is that Christian Gnosticism offers the most plausible explanation for 3500 years of shenanigans. But it's not the only possible explanation. The Hindu Avatar theory is worth consideration, too, and it doesn't suffer the irrational and illogical premises of exoteric orthodoxy.
No matter what you're a very brave man for considering these issues.