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RE: Ego Comforting Lies or Awakening Unpleasant Truths

in #philosophy6 years ago (edited)

It's interesting that you know so much of this process and I was nodding all the way long. But here I would beg to differ.

Because it's reality that people do hide from their actions and can't handle being wrong or having done something wrong. The message that they should not do so, nevertheless is not enough.

I don't play these dissociative mind games with myself or others. Bypassing reality by convincing someone that they aren't their actions, or that they aren't responsible for their actions, is pure folly and an unreality. Getting people to honestly face themselves in the mirror is what is required for the world to get better and be a real, true and honest place for all our benefit.

How about a differentiation?

I agree that one should not play mental games in order to give someone an insight he has not asked for. In particular in close relationships this would be a highly disturbing attempt as the knowledge about this method can be misunderstood as manipulative. Besides, people are really good in sniffing that out and would reject you.

But in the context of working with people in the realm of therapy and consultancy in the therapist-client relationship it's a valid and acknowledged method to use.
Because there are people indeed who have huge difficulties to take on responsibility and suffer a great deal in their work or relationships. They seek for advice. In the onset of this therapeutic or consultancy client relationship you inform your client about the setting and you guide him exactly through this dissociation process to make certain actions visible first. After having looked at it in this way, your duty as a therapist or consultant is to re-ingegrate the action into the total of the person, so to speak. People who have difficulties to face the full impact of their actions and therefore deny their responsibility get through this method the chance to near themselves in little steps. The final goal is to help one to mature and to behave responsibly with his full existence.

To summarize: Dissociate the action from the person. Make the problem visible and work on it. When insight happens ask the client how he would integrate a solution to this particular problem and what this solution could be. Give symbols or anchors or work on them with the client to pave a transfer path into the daily life. If the client succeeds he will have a positive experience and can make transfer to other issues, too.

Other fields in which this also can take place is the care sector as in schools where the teacher is, for example, dealing with a student always coming late. If he would just declare that coming late is unacceptable and punishes the student he might miss that this disturbing behavior points towards a problem the student makes him aware of. So "coming late" is actually not the real problem but does point at something else.