Does this still work if our definition of evil is more descriptively rich? For example, in some arguments evil is used as a placeholder for something like "undeserved suffering".
What you have written clearly applies to the evil instantiated through human intervention. But much of what we think of as undeserved suffering is not due to human action.
Rather, the natural world visits greater or smaller injury and suffering upon us in ways that are often unpredictable and unavoidable. If someone is injured in an earthquake, I am responsible for how I help them deal with that pain, but I am not morally responsible for that pain in the same way I would be if I'd punched them.