Resilience. It has become a kind of buzzword in the last decade or so and has been packaged into self-help content and pushed alongside mindfulness but, how many actually have it and how do they know?
Of course, it is impossible to really tell and even though people may think they are training it, it isn't until they are in a position that requires it will they know if it has had an effect. Even then, Is it possible to know?
Yesterday I wrote a little post about the outrage many seem to feel at the smallest of slights and this points at a lack of resilience, not an increase. We seem less and less capable of dealing with negative and emotional hardship even though we have more and more access and training to prepare for it. I think this points to the situation that experience trumps book smarts.
Later on I am going to write a post about a related but different topic but to order my thoughts, I wanted to get a little down first. I find that it helps me process faster. Posting it here also gives space for additional thoughts and perspectives to be pushed by the audience. This in itself is part of my experience and a way for me to better round it out.
Now, back to resilience. The problem is that we are increasingly going un-battle-tested even though our information volume is going up. Our insights are no longer ours, they are learned information that we have never really had to put into practice and when we do face challenge, we think that those challenges are of a high level, even if they are not.
For example, I wrote a post the other week mentioning having a suitcase stolen in Amsterdam whilst on holiday with my wife. Now, that caused us some headaches and felt terrible in the moment but, as we walked around the streets she and I talked about how minor it really was in the scheme of things. Just a day earlier we had toured the building where Anne Frank and her family were holed up in an attic for two years hiding from the Nazis. She was just a kid.
Many people still to this day face a multitude of hardships yet, those who are training to become resilient rarely face anywhere near that depth of challenge and they do it to overcome what others might see as small concerns. It is interesting I think that those who really need the resources don't get them but, they do learn from experience, they do get battle tested. Perhaps this prepares them for some future hardships and may provide a competitive advantage.
I think that for many of us though, we are becoming soft, hence the rage at irrelevant things and our concern of trivialities. We get angry over what we see in the news about the inequalities of the world but, without ever having really faced them at that depth, are we capable of acting well? Are we capable of acting at all?
What I do know is that our experience in this world is our own and how we react to what we face is something we can own. Resilience is an important skill to learn but it is also something that is difficult to understand without really facing the challenges. Most people aren't even comfortable thinking about difficult or stressful situations, how do they plan on coping if they do actually arise?
Thoughts to organise thoughts.
Taraz
[ a Steemit original ]
Just as you said, we think we have become resilient, because we drum it into our thoughts, but when faced with a situation, that's when the real test happens, and most times we find that we can't practice what we've learnt in theory. In one of his posts from days ago, @galenkp talked about how he was faced with a situation while he was out with his wife, and his resilience was tested. Because of her, he was able to practice it at that time. Maybe being with people who love and care about us has a certain effect on us, in the face of trouble.
I think this has a great deal to with it. If it is just us, there is no reason to fight for ourselves but, when we have the responsibility of others relying on us, we will work very hard indeed.
Resilience isn’t a common practice in the past few decades, so many people had fallen or failed and they accepted failure and did not attempt to rise again. A popular saying He Who falls from the horse rise to climb it again but people preferred to stay down there and wonders why they fall in the first place and that’s where they get it wrong .
I agree with the fact that whatever we learn through experience is ours but experience itself is fighting its way to remain the best teacher as they say.
My view is we should have two ways thinking about everything, the positive and negative and so if the negative arises we already figured out a way to resolve it
They say experience is the best teacher, but it was very unspecific which experience, whether the owners or external experience, but i think self experience is more of the teacher. Even though half our lives have been led by the experience of others which might not totally reflect the supposed lessons.
Yes information is knowledge and knowledge is power. It is true that Our insights are no longer ours, they are learned information that we have never really had to put into practice but i believe that the use will arrive when they are needed, perhaps all these information are deposited in our subconscious mind till the need arrives, now the depth of how much we learnt in quality and quality plays a vital role in our reactions
It seems to depend on the type of prep work done. Often, no matter the training, under stress panic takes over.
...as far as 'the west' is concerned - many will not cope in real crisis. Molly coddled for 2 generations makes you soft.
Like you say, unless you have experienced real adversity, you do not know.
I have seen on my travels, so called 'tough people' reduce themselves to children, with what I would call _very little _ actual adversity.
I also have also known many eastern europeans and Russian's - and they have a toughness that the people in the west just don't possess (in general).....
You can't fake it - no matter how many classes you take...
Under stress conditions, you see who has it and who fakes it.
Absolutely.
You can be trained for it I'm sure - to such a close degree to be almost the same as the real thing - but that is not 99% of the people in regular life..
saying that - during my travels I came across a 'trained ' person who could not handle a real life stress situation ( it really wasn't that stressful , imo).
And on the other hand - I came across a 'trained person' who went without food for over 3 days, without complaining about his situation, and got on with his job.
Which was silly,- as I had plenty of money at the time, and made sure he was well fed when I found out!
...but it's the principal - which I respected immensely - of not asking - just getting on with life.
This kind of strength of character is not the norm..
( I don't include myself in his level of 'strength of character' btw .)
You are right. Hardships are different for every person. What I see people struggling with may not be categorized as a hardship in my mind. They are just living month to month maybe. A lot of people don't know what it means to not have.
I have been thinking about your piece the other day and how people cope or don't cope with pressure. The art of speaking to someone is disappearing and I blame text and email. If the shit hits the fan I pick up the phone or get in the car and go and see whoever can help. This kind of relationship seems to be disappearing . When you have decent relationships with clients anything can be resolved.
Today a doctor will give you tablets for stress. The human race is slowly becoming pill popping junkies.
But, there experience tells them they understand perfectly.
I approach my business this way. Relationship is important.
Yep. we take metaphorical pills also.
See, there is light at the end of the tunnel. Most people say this but do not believe and feel it. They give up easily instead of simply reboosting their enthusiasm. If this becomes an attitude then they don’t ever stand a chance of achieving their goals and objectives of existence.
Resilience is key to making it. You have to try and try to make it. With all the disappointments and heart breaks
Resilience is precisely caused by the influence of several factors including the reality of our lifestyle with the environment or our life experience and even the influence of the global situation simply means indirectly accommodate the resilience itself.
Never give up, that's the motto...
Very nice your post,i like,the amazing photo,good job my friend,@tarazkp
@tarazkp actual your words and picture you shared a very well match by you ..photo describes your word and words describe photo...
Very useful and inspiring writing. I also love the photos you show. Thx for sharing...