You cannot always control whether difficult things happen to you in life but you can control, to a large extent, how you react to them.
Failure makes your mind trick you into believing things that aren't true
Psychologically speaking, the most important thing to do after a failure is to understand its impact, how it affects your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.
Failure makes the same goal seem less attainable.
People who fail estimated the goalpost as being further away and higher than those who had succeeded. In other words, failure automatically distorts your perceptions of your goals and makes them seem more unattainable. —your goals are just as attainable as they were before you failed; it is only your perceptions that changed.
Failure also distorts your perceptions of your abilities.
Much as it makes your goals seem further out of reach, failure also distorts your perceptions of your actual abilities by making you feel less up to the task. Once you fail, you are likely to assess your skills, intelligence, and capabilities incorrectly and see them as significantly weaker than they actually are.
Failure makes you believe you’re helpless.
One of the most common and strongest feelings people have after failing is helplessness. Failure causes an emotional wound. Your mind responds to this wound by trying to get you to give up so it doesn’t get wounded again—and its best way of getting you to give up is to make you feel helpless. By making you feel as if there is nothing you can do to succeed, your mind might avoid future failures but you will be robbed of successes as well—which is why you shouldn’t always listen to your feelings. But that is not the only way your mind can work against you
A single failure experience can create an unconscious "fear of failure."
Some people are convinced they have a "fear of success." They don’t—they have a fear of failure. The problem with most fears of failure is they are unconscious, which means you’re not actually dealing with whether the fear is real, reasonable, or likely. Which then means you’re also not addressing how to increase your likelihood of success; you’re just trying to avoid feeling bad if you fail.
Willpower is like a muscle—it needs rest and glucose to function best.
Much like muscles can become fatigued when they are overused, when your willpower fails you it is because it is over-worked and under-nourished. Our brains require glucose to operate and when they don’t have enough of it, our cognitive resources (attention, concentration); our executive functioning (planning, decision making); and our willpower all begin to drop or fail. That is why crash diets often end in binging—they deplete the person’s willpower so severely that they lose their self-control all at once and eat everything in sight. Therefore, be aware of how much effort and willpower you’re exerting during the day and make sure to rest, eat a little, and be ready to be more vigilant and to revisit your motivations when you begin to feel your willpower fading.
Break down the task or goal in question to those aspects that are in your control and those that are not. Then go through the list of aspects that are not in your control and figure out how to take control of them
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true... it's hard not to distort because of that. But I think it's normal, we know it's normal so we should know how to stand after failing. Faling is just challenging to do better.
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or are we to scared to fail, so we dont dare to do it, and by not failing, we dont learn, hoow to do it better?? or to do it right ;)
true, that's why for the people that are new to me. I'm not confident to face people because I'm afraid what I'll be doing is wrong or for them it will not be what they wanted.
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