If you asked my Grandad what emotional intelligence was for, he would say, "what's that? Something poofs have?"
Buut, luckily we're in the 21st century and my Grandad's time was a little different to the life we live now. You see, when he was young, men had to be strong and get up and work and fight regardless of how they felt because times were much harder back then.
Now we live in a softer and gentler society where men have different duties than before, and women are more and more entering into the workplace and in high positioned jobs.
So now that life is softer (and easier), the roles of men have shifted. When I was young the big roles to get in were the technical trades such as engineer or electrician, or something that involved electronics or electricals.
But now that has been swapped out for the computer trades which is a lot less physically demanding. An engineer may have to connect a big thick pipe, which would need lots of brute strength, whereas someone operating a computer would have soft hands and not really need any brute strength.
And this is the way we are moving towards. We are moving towards you and I operating the computers and big heavy machinery doing the operating by itself. We're moving away from hard manual labour and moving towards soft, easy typing on keyboards.
So men are having quite the time of it making this transition. They are having to go from burly big handy men, to sitting still and quiet on a computer day in and day out. My tree surgeon friend who I sometimes mention on here, he did a year in management, which was out of the trees and into the office and he hated every single minute of it.
And we're feeling a little displaced, you know? Men are having to get in touch with their emotional side because we have the time to sit and think about it now. We're not out in the fields lifting heavy trees, we're at home or inside contemplating the meaning of life -- and that involves quite a large dose of Emotional Intelligence. The game is changing.
But what is this mystic thing emotional intelligence that we see everyone talking about and waving it like they're Mystic Meg?
Well, it's about being comfortable with yourself. It's knowing your own feelings. It may sound stupid for a man to talk about this but us men have feelings too and it's not just happy, angry, hungry, horny as most people think - we have quite a wide array of emotions. And when life told us that mostly the stoic route was the best, to just push them right down to the bottom and forget about them, our modern life is bringing them to the surface.
You can no longer bury them in a good session at work, because when you come back home there bound to be someone on YouTube or the hundred TV channels you're watching that sets you off. There's nowhere to run to like there used to be.
Of course it's easy for me to talk about this because I'm quite high on the EQ scale, but then I've had to learn all this through trial and error over years of practise. Some of you are just starting out.
Well, the quickest way to know is when you feel your mood change instead of ignoring it (like I was taught to), think about it. Why is it happening? Why do you feel this way? What happened that triggered this emotional response? You can do this with almost everything from talking to your parents on a Sunday afternoon to answering the troll on the internet that's annoying you.
You'll find an answer to those questions. Then you ask yourself why did you react this way? And so on. It's about questioning your reasoning, but the reasoning to your feelings.
See? Even feelings have logic. Bet you didn't know that?
Get good enough at this process and you can apply that to other people. Watch how they act and react to certain stimuli on and off the internet. It's very interesting stuff!
You should give it a try!
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