I really didn't want to go to work today. We were in New York a week ago and so although jet-lag has subsided and melatonin is wonderful, I'm still a little out of sorts. I probably need to get my running shoes on and get out there or do some other form of exercise. It's got to be playful though, my attitude to running (like my attitude to everything) tends to be too serious. Once I've been out a few times, I'll be making plans and telling myself off for not keeping to them, or something. Anyway, I also woke up at 5am and couldn't really get back to sleep until 6:30 which is kind of the time I like to get up to have my first coffee and a bit of a think, but instead I set the alarm for another hour and went back to sleep, with disturbing dreams about being accused of lying by people who I knew were compulsive liars themselves. So altogether, I was a bit wiped out and the prospect of walking up the hill and working with our dementia-friendly group didn't feel very appealing. Even though the only thing to do really is to welcome them, have a laugh and play some music together. That should be alright really, shouldn't it? It's much better than a lot of Wednesday mornings at work that I've had in my ever-lengthening working life. So I walked out the front door, up the road a hundred yards and realised I had to go back for my phone. Getting grumpier and grumpier. I don't know when my mood actually changed, probably when the people first arrived and I got to see myself again through their eyes instead of from the inside of my head. And as they came in to get their cups of tea and coffee and some of those with dementia who I've spent time with every week for the last couple of years still look at me like we've never met, I remembered that it can be whatever I want it to be and it's supposed to be fun.
I don't think I did anything particularly different from normal, but I came at it with a more improvisatory attitude, just to see what could happen. And of course, it was easier and fun and we had a laugh and I could send them away an hour and a half later refreshed and ready for their lunches and whatever their afternoon holds. One of the care-workers who supports us in these sessions took some photographs for their social media and I saw at least one of me dancing around like a fool, so that's success!
It's striking to me that the style I usually refer to as "blogging like nobody's reading" could in no way be mistaken for the work of a machine-learning model. I mean I suppose you can train them on a corpus and I probably have enough ramblings over the years to perhaps approximate my voice, but why would anyone want to do that?
One of the practices I was pleased with when I was in New York was to sit with a notebook and write about the previous day - you know, like a diary! It was so easy when I was there and it feels so hard when I'm here. What's that about?
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I should be back in New York this year. It's been a while since my first visit.
I hope you can keep up your running. I enjoy the break away from screens.